this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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Autism

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Anyone Else Confused by Praise? (aussie.zone)
submitted 1 week ago by Zarobi@aussie.zone to c/autism@lemmy.world
30 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Highly specific question, I know.

When people compliment me, I genuinely don't know what to do. It feels like they've given me a physical object, and I'm just standing there holding it awkwardly, but I don't know what to do with it.

Complements and praise does nothing for me emotionally, so I just say "thank you"; in the same way you thank a kid that handed you a rock they found on the ground.

Like, I appreciate the sentiment — as in, I know they're trying to be nice or something, so it doesn't bother me. It's just one of many small things that makes social stuff a bit harder. For example, I probably don't give out any complements to other people, because it doesn't occur to me as an important thing to do. I'm sure this has many effects in my life I'm not aware of.

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[–] TerdFerguson@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Not really confused by it, but I find it suspicious by default. Most of the time, I just say thank you to politely accept it.

Half the time, I tend to find that people are trying to just butter me up to get something out of me. Disingenuity is very grating on my sensibilities and it can lower my opinion of people who tend to behave in that way.

I used to take it personally, like that person thinks I'm dumb enough to buy into their petty manipulation. Now I understand that lots of people just carelessly, all-around, do this to score points they can cash in on later. I just pretend I don't notice and say thank you anyway; I don't think I could offer anything but a sincere compliment, myself.

[–] Zarobi@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Especially salespeople. In my experience we both end up confused and then awkwardly back away from each other 😂

[–] TerdFerguson@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 week ago

So true!

When I bought my truck I said, "If you keep talking, I will buy it from somoene else. Let me drive and I will make my decision."

You know, in true autistic fashion.