this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
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A Burglar breaks into two homes.
One Had a Dog. The told the man to leave or he will bark and wake up his master and then bite him until he leaves.
The Burglar does so.
The burglar then breaks into the second home. The the burglar meets a cat. The cat kooks at him with disdain.
The cat then proceeds to tell the burglar to keep the noise down and to not forget to fill up his food bowl before he leaves.
I don't want an attack dog.
I want an alarm dog. A small guy that can bark if the door is breached and has sensitive enough ears to hear quieter entries than me, but will hide with the cats.
An "attack" dog just gets in the way of my line of fire.
You would train the attack dog to get out of the way when you're armed, and attack when you're unarmed
Always armed.
And I guess you mean I'd teach it to retreat behind me when I yell "clear" or something? But even then, most gun fights outside of like prolonged warfare last an average of about three literal seconds. Ain't no time for dog commands.