this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2026
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[–] Asetru@feddit.org 102 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Privileged American cats with nine lives. Where I'm from they only have seven.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yeah but perhaps you have public transportation or bidets? Things worth having 20% less cat lives for.

[–] musubibreakfast@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Cats paid for those services with their lives

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago

In return they need to climb all the way to cloud #9 while it's closer for us.

[–] Codpiece@feddit.uk 46 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is not wholesome. The cat only did this because it claims to be hungry.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 38 points 5 days ago (3 children)

But if she died the cat could eat her

[–] Rug_Pisser@piefed.zip 9 points 5 days ago

But only once.

oh gosh. my cat nibbled on my face the other day. i wonder if i was not snoring for once and she was not sure if i was alive.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 3 points 5 days ago

MOMMY WON'T GET UP 🎵🎶🎶

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 38 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I'm not crying, you're crying

[–] Zoop@beehaw.org 10 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Yes. Yes, I am. I'm full-on ugly crying so hard I feel like I'm gonna puke. We don't deserve cats, pets, animals in general!! They can be such little fucking sweetie pies just like in this comic oh god 😭

I wish my cat had unlimited lives. She's a senior, getting up there, and has scary, mysterious health issues...I hate knowing I'm gonna lose her someday. I just hope and pray that she doesn't suffer. I'd take all the suffering in the world if it meant she didn't suffer, dammit.

Uhh okay I'm gonna stop babbling and continue sobbing and grieving and pre-grieving elsewhere

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

<3 I lost my mom last year, and her favorite son (a Dachshund) is in my care. He's my bestest little boy, and 15 years old. I was my mom's care giver, so he's been my dog, too, the whole time. It's so hard knowing I'll lose him eventually, especially after losing Mama. I genuinely don't know what I'll do. He's the only reason I'm still here. Someone had to be there to care for him, and if I hadn't had that, my grief last year would have ended me.

God, we really do not deserve these creatures. They're wonderful.

[–] Neuroresurgent@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

If he's the only reason you're here, get him a partner. Love is a thing that only grows when it is shared, so love many, and I hope in that time so too will the reasons to stay.

You matter 🖤🖤

[–] leriotdelac@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago

Awww! Such a kind protector!:)

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 17 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Squints

Hmmm, the artist drew the butthole, good

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The cat graciously thanked Death by showing Him the butthole.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They are still assholes in the end.

(No they are not. Actually, fuck that meme, I'm quitting my nightjob).

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

Their ends are still assholes.

soooooo my favorite gastro doctor, his office was covered with animal butthole art. he had a sense of humor

i had a pig butt [oil on canvas, about yaaay big] over our mantle for maybe six months before our landlord made me move it (from the shared space to our private space, wife and i have got a few rooms to ourselves). i don't know why. everyone giggled when they saw a pig butt over the mantle and asked "is that [MG's]?" because of course it is.

i don't have a good photo and my wife is sitting under it so if i remember later, photo upload later i love showing people my pig butt.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

Aww. In a grim sort if way.

[–] vegafjord@slrpnk.net 1 points 3 days ago

My wife sais the comic is misinformation. Cats has 7 lives.

[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 10 points 5 days ago

But for how long?

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Damn ninjas with their onions

[–] imakeninjascry@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

You just gotta give them back. Make the ninjas take those onions back! Burn their house down with the onions!

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 days ago (1 children)

One of the reasons Death likes cats is that they interact often enough to be friends. Also, cats are nice.

See also: The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I dunno. Most cats I've met are kind of assholes. I love them nonetheless but I also feel like asshole people tend to cheat death more than nice people somehow too. Maybe that's where the illusion of the nine lives comes from; asshole traits correlating with survival.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 days ago

I think the "9 lives" and the "assholes" come from the way humans understand their own limitations and motives, and their own babies' and dogs' limitations and motives. Then they see cats who, despite being baby sized and sharing some traits with toddlers and looking like dogs, can not only easily survive a fall that would kill a baby or dog, but might choose to leap it. And are so lithe and pointy they can escape the torture of an over-loving toddler, and will smackdown a much larger dog. As for motives, they don't have a pack mentality so your praise is welcome but not sought. I've seen 3 feral moms co-parenting 15 kittens because it makes life easier for all of them but none is in charge, the moms are equals. A cat has to look out for its own needs and interests but it's not like a grifting politician, it doesn't want to rule the world, it only wants enough power and food to feel safe and full and warm.

[–] Rothe@piefed.social 1 points 5 days ago

They are only assholes to assholes.

[–] Alpha71@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

A Burglar breaks into two homes.

One Had a Dog. The told the man to leave or he will bark and wake up his master and then bite him until he leaves.

The Burglar does so.

The burglar then breaks into the second home. The the burglar meets a cat. The cat kooks at him with disdain.

The cat then proceeds to tell the burglar to keep the noise down and to not forget to fill up his food bowl before he leaves.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I don't want an attack dog.

I want an alarm dog. A small guy that can bark if the door is breached and has sensitive enough ears to hear quieter entries than me, but will hide with the cats.

An "attack" dog just gets in the way of my line of fire.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You would train the attack dog to get out of the way when you're armed, and attack when you're unarmed

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 days ago

Always armed.

And I guess you mean I'd teach it to retreat behind me when I yell "clear" or something? But even then, most gun fights outside of like prolonged warfare last an average of about three literal seconds. Ain't no time for dog commands.

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I like this. I'm adding it to my mythology and adopting two more cats.

Adopt enough cats and you'll basically be immortal