this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
85 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

40606 readers
1663 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world


7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] AverageEarthling@feddit.online 2 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

it's funny (not haha funny) you should mention a stroke. I had thought of that honestly. She had a couple of concussions at her job. Once while we were dating, she was knocked out cold. I noticed a few changes after that but nothing that would make me think she would drop her whole life and just move one day without a word. Mostly just short term memory issues. The brain is a weird thing.

[โ€“] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 10 hours ago

Strokes happen, and a lot more often than we know. Like it's funny, but brain damage is well within the realm of possibility. It doesn't change anything - or, I guess, I suppose it does change things, often permanently, so that might be one very real, very possible reason.

Probably not good to chalk it up to "my partner left me because they had a stroke". I, personally, would say it's healthiest to land on "there were differences between both of us that somehow disabled healthy communication" because that's most often reality. That being said, until there's a pattern and you still can't tell what you may be doing, I wouldn't worry too much about you doing something worth changing. If there is a pattern, however, that's probably worth looking into.

I've dated people who have this pattern. It's not really their fault. One person was neurodivergent (i am too) and I'm avoidant af. I basically lied and ghosted them for a few months, claiming needing space, which was true, but it helped me see the issues I had with their person, the incompatibilities that I couldn't get over. They bothered me deeply, but I decided they were not something about them I could emotionally handle or would be in any way constructive to confront them over. To this day, I still feel horrible that I had to do that, but saw no other way out. I'd like to think I've matured since then and maybe could handle it better, but it hasn't been that long since.

And eventually reconnected with them and apologized and we officially broke up. They weren't happy, but thankful that I didn't entirely ghost them. We're still sort of friends but don't talk much, and they seem to have found their people, which I'm really glad for.

This story is just one, very specific possibility. From what I've seen in my limited lifespan, it's probably not the only kind of situation. I'm definitely at fault too.

Breaking up is hard. There isn't a set way and a lot of people just don't know how to do it. I don't have great advice for you, but I still think empathy is the way forward for us all, including for yourself.