Believing the woman that I met on there wanted anything more than a baby and for me to pay for everything for the rest of her life.
this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2026
84 points (100.0% liked)
Ask Lemmy
40606 readers
1584 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
My best dating app experience was my first app date, which was with the person I've very happily been with for ten years now.
My worst dating app experience was my second app date, which was just meh and boring and showed me they wouldn't all be as awesome as the first one, and I went back to dating the first one.
You guys were getting dates?
When you work on getting them, you'll get them
When you work on keeping them, you'll keep them
Like anything ijnlife, relations require time and mind investments
all the time.
have you tried being attractive?
In hindsight it was kinda funny. She was a bitch who‘s life revolved around acting like she’s upperclass. She was a saleswoman at a Mercedes dealership and got to drive one herself. The place I chose was not nice enough for her, which she constantly complained about and she laughed at me for taking the train and not owning a car at the time (this is Germany btw). When we left the restaurant and said goodbye, she asked me if I could help her build a website for free. I was like „Ummm no?“ and she just said „Typical men“.
I've been on this date dozens of times. Had many women ask me if I'm poor and become totally disgusted with me when is said I used to be as a child.
Yessss tell me all you secrets. Possibly the apps on your phone right now......muh hahahaha 👿
?
I guess matching with me ex and having her trying to get me to adopt one of their multiple cats and telling me how old I look. 😑 Went on the date anyway but I did not want to smash
It’s between going out with a heroin drug dealer or heroin drug user. Most depressing things ever.
Made me think of divorce lawyer with several lambos and a trophy wife. He don't sell heroin but he will help end your marriage all the same.
Also it would be funny that he would know how to have a healthy relationship
Going on a date/initial meet with somebody that ended up being a mutual with another partner, and later a DIFFERENT partner.
Then some weird jealousy and blaming and emotions and multiple weeks of feeling like a terrible person until I talked to the mutual partner and realized they had warped the entire situation.
I wasn't even into that person and it blew up like six relationships. And I consider myself and try to be a patient and fair person, proactively on the lookout for stuff like that.
met a girl, lovely, funny, just a joy to be around. We dated for almost 3 years. Blissful and regular sexy fun times. Bought her the most beautiful engagement ring. I was going to propose on Christmas. In November of that year, she ghosts me. Blocks me on everything. Left town with her ex-husband and moved to the other side of the country. I was completely floored. Even her parents were like WTF?! So I haven't dated in a while. I have no desire to start over again. Now it's just me and my cat.
People are weird and complex. For all you know, she had a mini stroke and that's that.
It's weird how these sorts of unknowns can haunt us for years. It's like a math equation that we can't solve but we must solve. An itch that we can't itch. You'll get it eventually. I had a really fucked up breakup when I was a teenager that bothered me all through my 20s. It wasn't until I matured a ton that I figured out how messed up it was. It took my own growth of perspective to be able to look back and understand why I felt the way I did for so long and why it was so confusing. We're just weird like that.
I hope you can find happiness 🫂
it's funny (not haha funny) you should mention a stroke. I had thought of that honestly. She had a couple of concussions at her job. Once while we were dating, she was knocked out cold. I noticed a few changes after that but nothing that would make me think she would drop her whole life and just move one day without a word. Mostly just short term memory issues. The brain is a weird thing.
Strokes happen, and a lot more often than we know. Like it's funny, but brain damage is well within the realm of possibility. It doesn't change anything - or, I guess, I suppose it does change things, often permanently, so that might be one very real, very possible reason.
Probably not good to chalk it up to "my partner left me because they had a stroke". I, personally, would say it's healthiest to land on "there were differences between both of us that somehow disabled healthy communication" because that's most often reality. That being said, until there's a pattern and you still can't tell what you may be doing, I wouldn't worry too much about you doing something worth changing. If there is a pattern, however, that's probably worth looking into.
I've dated people who have this pattern. It's not really their fault. One person was neurodivergent (i am too) and I'm avoidant af. I basically lied and ghosted them for a few months, claiming needing space, which was true, but it helped me see the issues I had with their person, the incompatibilities that I couldn't get over. They bothered me deeply, but I decided they were not something about them I could emotionally handle or would be in any way constructive to confront them over. To this day, I still feel horrible that I had to do that, but saw no other way out. I'd like to think I've matured since then and maybe could handle it better, but it hasn't been that long since.
And eventually reconnected with them and apologized and we officially broke up. They weren't happy, but thankful that I didn't entirely ghost them. We're still sort of friends but don't talk much, and they seem to have found their people, which I'm really glad for.
This story is just one, very specific possibility. From what I've seen in my limited lifespan, it's probably not the only kind of situation. I'm definitely at fault too.
Breaking up is hard. There isn't a set way and a lot of people just don't know how to do it. I don't have great advice for you, but I still think empathy is the way forward for us all, including for yourself.
Dodged a bullet? She could have ghosted you after the proposal for the sake reason.
Seems like person that really craves novelty because they uprooted their life spontaneously
load more comments
(6 replies)
view more: next ›