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Wow brother, it sure sounds like it had a profound impact on who you are the way you engage reality/the universe. That’s rad.
It had an experience I perceived as dying and I was perfectly okay with it. It was fine and felt good actually, almost disappointing upon returning.
It was in the 90s in Ohio. We heard that people were doing ketamine in California and I had a friend who worked at a vet. What we didn’t know was how they did it, snorting it. My vet tech friend got us some and we did it like they give to animals as anesthesia, we injected intramuscularly. Holy shit. lol.
So anyway by the time I tried salvia about 10-15 years after that, I knew I wasn’t dying. But it felt kinda awful to me. I was sitting on a bed and my legs were suddenly hundreds of yards away from my body. All I could do was lay back and wait it out.
As far as dmt I was also introduced to it in the 90s. My brother was in those experiments in New Mexico, there’s a video out there about them and he’s in it. Sent me some to Ohio while he was in the study. Yeah it’s wild, I’ve had a few very profound experiences on it. Notably one time when I went to the main ballroom of the elves who dwell there. We danced together hard. It was so wild.
After that every time I did it again they made me sit in waiting room (like the movie Beetlejuice) and wouldn’t let me back in the ballroom, they said they showed me everything I need to see. I stopped trying it as it was frustrating and didn’t go back until one time in 2019. Different experience altogether.
I never understood people who use it recreationally, way too profound.
Anyway good to connect. Have a great weekend.
Perhaps it did, but it was maladaptive in many ways. I've moved past it at this point, and it took years of struggle, therapy, several trips to the psych word, and multiple different rounds of medication. They always tried to medicalize my issue when I insisted my issue was spiritual and existential, but obviously that sounds like gibberish to doctors. And in the end it wasn't the medication or the therapy that brought me back to reality. It was through continuing forward on my journey until I reached the point when I realized it was pointless, that this world is as real as any other, and the only one I have direct access to anyway. And then a slow climb back to consensus reality as I learned to acknowledge that the perceptions of others are valid in their own ways and that I can never fully extricate myself from society, so I shouldn't try. So I started learning how to see the world from the inside like most people, instead of from the outside like the psychonaut I thought I was.
Yeah, I can see how a K-hole would be much gentler than salvia...
Yup, the dissociation/derealization on salvia can be really uncomfortable. My breakthrough doses were all on extracts, 10x and 20x. But on lighter doses I would stay in my body and the high felt very physical in a very weird sort of way. Hard to describe.
Man, I've always wanted to meet these elves. Maybe they'd be kinder than the deities in the salvia dimension. Some of the voices there are downright cruel, like it's a sport to them to play with fools like me who believe in the reality of the physical body and world.
Yeah, back when I did a bunch of psychedelics I always said it was for spiritual reasons. I thought that made it some higher or nobler purpose than just doing it for fun. But people thought that just makes me pretentious and detached from reality. I guess there's a reason spiritual teachers tend to warn their students to keep their practice secret...
Same to you