(This is a story originally from my Reddit account, posted almost a month ago. But along with my Reddit account, this post got deleted, so I though I'd find it on the Wayback Machine and post it on Lemmy instead. I found it really funny and wanted to keep it around)
About a week ago, I went out drinking with a couple of my friends. I enjoyed myself a lot, but I got really, really drunk lol. E has totally decreased my tolerance for alcohol and I rarely drink anyway.
When I stumbled back home (almost crawling on all fours at that point), my bf was very understanding. He helped me get undressed, inserted my prog for me and made sure I got to bed safely. Then I fell asleep.
I don't know why, but alcohol initially makes me fall asleep really easily, but then I always wake up a couple of hours later, not very well rested. So while I did fall asleep quite quickly, I didn't stay asleep for more than 5 hours.
I kinda woke up at about 3AM (my guess), totally out of it and confused. I did not open my eyes yet though. There was a lingering smell of wine in my nostrils, which was quite unpleasant, but I was fine otherwise, just really confused. I was trying to remember who I was or where I was, with my eyes still closed, and I kinda started rubbing my face against the pillow I was sleeping on.
It was really soft and smelled really, really good. Like that kind of smell that a girl's hair would have, nicely taken care of with various hair care products. This kind of worried me, because my brain was like: "This is a girl's pillow. What the hell did you do last night? Who am I going to wake up next to? I'm totally gonna wake up next to a girl that I don't know in the morning. And I don't even like girls!". I grew increasingly panicked, but I couldn't get enough of the scent, lol.
So I finally opened my eyes. My bf was sleeping next to me, in our own bed and I was laying on my own damn pillow ๐คฃ. I felt so stupid, but also pretty damn euphoric. It smelled soooo good! I guess HRT made my hair much less oily, so the only thing I could smell from my pillow was my shampoo and conditioner. It definitely gave me a confidence boost.
The next morning I woke up, after a not-so-restful night with a really bad hangover and felt like shit. But I had my euphoria and was at least really happy ๐ฉท
Aha. Thanks for the explanation. Someone on the original post already explained it, but I'm dumb, I didn't get it the first time ๐
I thought this might be it...
I think it's why alcohol and benzo withdrawal specifically is so dangerous...
I will, tysm! And thanks a lot for the explanation ๐ฉท
I'll take better care of myself.
CW: substances
I'm stopping kratom today. Used to take 2 teaspoons daily, which sucked. It keeps me from drowning in a deep depression, but the long term effects aren't great, not to mention addiction.Instead (and this is gonna sound terrible) I have weed. I don't smoke it, I have an expensive dry herb vape, so no tar, it's much better on my lungs.
I have a much better relationship with weed than kratom, much longer too. I'll be fine, but I still kinda feel like a bad human, needing some drug to cope with life. I'm just disappointed that I'm not strong enough to cope sober...