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this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2026
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Spoken like someone who didn’t grow up around geese. Those fuckers can break a human leg bone or arm bone with their wing. Not even remotely kidding. They’re fear by most animals for good reason.
This was written by a goose.
Weak ass bones if a 10 lb bird breaks em.
You’re both partially correct, the young, elderly and smaller individuals can get a broken bone from a goose.
That said those flappy fucks can catch hands
That's the real cause here.
If you stand your ground and show that fucker who outweighs the other 3 to 1 or more and doesn't have hollow bones, it won't bowl you over.
Yeah, they do a great intimidation game but the usual standing tall with arms wide makes them back off, certainly with slow deliberate steps towards them. They're much more nasty towards children and people showing fear.
Move towards them and threaten to kick them. They back off.
Those flappy fucks caught hands somewhat often when I was a kid, they always tried to steal my bread when Mom took me to feed the ducks (and yes, I know how bad that is, I was like 8-12).
From this popsci article: "Bird wings may not seem all that threatening. After all, like most other birds that fly, the bones in goose wings are hollow. But because geese can weigh up to 25 pounds, the muscles in those wings are incredibly strong. They have to be to lift such a heavy bird into the air and carry it hundreds of miles at a time during migration.
So you really don’t want to be pummeled by those wings—they can quickly knock down a full-grown adult and cause scrapes, stitches, even broken bones. All of these injuries have been reported after goose assaults."
Bolded the important parts.
Falling over for any reason can cause scrapes, stitches, even broken bones, regardless of the instigating factor.
An adult weighing three times as much as a goose doesn't fall over because the goose is strong. They fall over because of being startled into losing their balance, which is a feat a sparrow or a mouse could also accomplish.
Propaganda from big goose. That article was literally funded by goose & co.
Really would love to know how a hollow bird bone is meant to break a human bone.
It scares you and you fall over. Trying to put your hands out to save you and break something in the fall.
That's an urban myth about swans.
In reality, the bones of both swans and geese are hollow like straw and about as likely to break human bones.
Dogs still can’t look up though.
Nice Shaun of the Dead reference 😄👌🏼
No they can't lmao what?
They're feared by most animals because most animals (humans included) aren't willing to risk a fight unless they need to, while geese have a solid intimidation game, and make to believe that they're big and strong and will fight you.
A 5 kg dog can also scare off plenty of people. That doesn't mean an average grown person can't punt it across the yard if push comes to shove. Plenty of videos out there show what happens when one of these animals actually goes after someone's kid... the kid usually ends up fine to put it that way.
Had a few dogs come after me. The difficult part is I would rather not hurt a dog, it is the owner who deserves a punch in the face.
Usually happens when I am on a bike which is a bit of an awkward position to respond to an ankle biter. I don't want to run it over but I also don't want to stop moving away. Of course if I had to I could flatten it with my bike.
I've never hesitated to kick at a dog chasing me on my bike. I love dogs, but if a dumbfuck owner lets it loose on the street, I will defend myself with all necessary force.
i just stop or slow down, and the dogs usually retreat
Exactly! There's also the significant point that you could get bit in the process of kicking away said dog, and the bite could give you an infection, which all comes back to why we (like most animals) will go very far to avoid a physical altercation.
Basically, fighting shit can be dangerous, even in situations where you easily come out on top 10/10 times. That doesn't mean the fucking chihuahua has a chance.
A gøøse once bit my sister
They kan be pretty nasti
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the g00se with the sharpened end of an interspace t00thbrush given by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian m0vies: “The H0t Hands of an Oslo Dentist”, “Fillings of Passion”, “The Huge M0lars of Horst Nordfink”.
I think this reference might predate the internet, brb gonna do some research.
Ok so according to this, the predecessors to the internet are older than this (1975), but the internet as we know it is much younger.
How fucking big are your geese?
Nothing near me is anywhere near that hardcore.
I could see a swan fucking you up but a goose? No way unless you're shoving your fingers down its mouth.