534
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top new old
[-] Iceman@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

Your talking a lot of shit for some one with hollow bones.

[-] imvii@lemmy.ca 3 points 22 hours ago

Geese are mostly harmless. They can give you a little pinch, but that's about it. I never understood why people are afraid of them.

I was lucky enough to spend a couple of years around a flock and they're really cool animals. They even remembered me when they returned in springtime. Geese are awesome.

[-] collapse_already@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 day ago

One tried to attack my son when he was about 6 while we were walking in a park, not particularly close to where it started. I reminded it of which species eats the other species by kicking it in its stupid bill. It backed off. I was prepared to kill it.

[-] pjwestin@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

When I was in college, Canandian Geese were all over the park outside my apartment building. They never got out of the way, shit all over the grass, just made a mess of the place. One night, my neighbor came home a little tipsy, and when a goose got to close to him, he slapped it on the back. Not enough to injure it, but he definitely startled it. For the rest of the year, the geese cleared a path for him whenever he came through. I guess word got around in the goose community that he was not to be fucked with.

[-] janewaydidnothingwrong@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago
[-] pjwestin@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

That can't be right. That feels like when Republicans say, "Democrat party," instead of, "Democratic," because they think it's some big insult or something. (For the record, I'm sure you're right, I just think it's dumb.)

[-] Obnomus@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 day ago

Don't kill the goose 😭

[-] Godric@lemmy.world 110 points 2 days ago

When I was a child, we had chickens. Once, when I was five or six, we had a rooster who would chase me out of the yard when I went outside to play. Seeing this, my father held me over the chicken pen as I kicked at the rooster with my little cowboy boots, but the rooster didn't learn.

So he equipped me as a knight, and sent me with a broomhandle sword, a winter coat, and safety glasses to do battle. I fought him from the lowest dip to the highest hill, the Rooster of Cruelty, until I at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the hillside.

Never again did he trouble me, and never again shall I let poultry tyrannize me! Ever again shall I ride to war against the avian, fair or fowl; thus is my vow.

[-] DirtPuddleMisfortune@feddit.org 47 points 2 days ago

My grandad had a rooster that always used to attack me when I was a child. One day, Grandad saw him chasing me, grabbed it, put it on the chopping block and chopped off its head. Then he threw it on the floor.

It got up and ran towards me again. Just before it reached me, he finally collapsed.

I still think about it quite often.

[-] aaa999@lemmy.world 3 points 18 hours ago

actual evil dead shit

[-] MrShankles@reddthat.com 6 points 1 day ago

Fuck... I might think about that quite often now, too. Holy balls

[-] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Is this Brennan Lee Mulligan?

[-] bss03@infosec.pub 1 points 22 hours ago

I think it's Zac from Earth two, where his "Knight's Concerning Oath" in started with rooster instead of goose.

[-] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 9 points 2 days ago

I need someone to draw a comic of this

[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

I've seen worse plotlines in movies lately.

load more comments (5 replies)
[-] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 69 points 2 days ago

Who the hell let a goose get an Infinity gauntlet?!

[-] DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth 45 points 2 days ago

Untitled Goose Game 2

[-] Cris_Citrus@piefed.zip 37 points 2 days ago

HONK 👁️🫦👁️

[-] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 day ago

The local danger noodle not giving a shit, yet I still ran away

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Tell me you've never encountered a swan without telling me you've never encountered a swan:

[-] REDACTED@infosec.pub 7 points 1 day ago

I honestly don't understand this comment. Are they supposed to be dangerous? I've encountered angry swans several times and it has always been funny. They can't do shit to you, unless you're like 30kg child. Sure, they bite, but even the bite isn't that bad in comparison to (quite common) dog attacks.

[-] InputZero@lemmy.world 1 points 22 hours ago

Seen a few swan and goose attacks, heard from a few friends. A goose literally can not hurt you, a swan can bruise you up pretty good. While yes an adult vs a swan the adult wins it'll hurt a bit. If that's something a person can handle is a totally different subject but a full swan attack will leave a person bruised.

[-] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 2 points 22 hours ago

In a full on human vs swan fight, the human might get bruised, but the swan will definitely end up dead. How bruised up the person gets is strictly a matter of how long they'll put up with the aggressive swan, before finally just snapping it's weak little neck.

[-] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Those necky cunts can catch these hands too

[-] Almacca@aussie.zone 9 points 2 days ago

I learned to fear the Canada Goose when I was bicycle commuting along the Thames tow-path back in the day. However, they are nothing compared to the swans.

[-] Geobloke@aussie.zone 25 points 2 days ago

As an Australian, I really don't get it. You guys have fucking bears in your country, but geese are the ones that scare people

Edit: oh right the emu war. I get it now

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 8 points 1 day ago

Jokes aside, I think a big aspect of it is "I don't want to hurt the goose." Like if people were in a cage match with a goose, they'd obviously take it down, but you don't wanna just hurt some animal for no reason.

[-] FluidBeef@quokk.au 6 points 2 days ago

As a lapsed Briton I can confirm there are not in-fact fucking bears living wild on the Thames.

[-] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 2 points 23 hours ago

Haven't you ever been there during Pride?

load more comments (8 replies)
[-] elephantium@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

People almost always refer to "Canadian" geese instead of Canada geese. I will frequently chime in with "How did you know their nationality? Did you check their passports?" :D

Kudos for using the right form!

[-] Pyro@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago

I'm surprised that it isn't "Canadian". The nationality suffix is often used to denote an animal's native area (eg: Indian Elephant, etc)

[-] elephantium@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Huh, and after a bit of searching, I see there's even a Canadian horse. Italian wolf, Irish hare... the nationality suffix does seem to be way more common. Funny.

[-] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 14 points 2 days ago

Genuinely can't tell which one is supposed to be the goose in this situation

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 days ago

Why are you abusing the local wildlife?

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2026
534 points (98.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

41588 readers
4066 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS