So, I have a friend...
He's the same age as me (but a few months older), bi and we've known each other for more than 10 years now, since elementary. He's my only remaining true friend, because the other left me at the beginning of HRT.
So far, he's been amazingly supportive. Like, probably the most supportive person after my bf. We talk a bit on Discord, mostly my messages tho (I think I annoy him a bit tbh π)
A couple of days ago...I was feeling good about myself. Great, even. Felt great about my HRT progress and I was feeling, for once in a very long time, kinda happy with myself.
And in that state of happiness and excitement, a mistake was made...
(This is the approximate conversation on Discord we had)
M - me
V - him
M: "Hey, so...I know I haven't shown you any pics, but my HRT progress is going quite well rn. It's really motivating."
M: "So...if you're ready..."
M: (links to timeline post on Trans Joy)
M: "You don't really have to look if you don't want to. It's just...I find it quite informational and tbh, interesting."
V: "Okay, Imma be honest..."
V: "It's a bit strange to see the naked body of someone I know...especially when that person is a girl."
V: "And, tbh..."
V: "If I hadn't known it was you, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between these and pics of a cis woman..."
M: "Stahp π. It's not true, you're just trying to be kind..."
V: "Nah, for real tho. Those are some pics you see on NSFW subreddits."
V: "Not trying to be kind, I'm just telling the truth."
V: "In fact, some time ago, had I not known these were your photos, they would have been something that I used for pleasure..."
Now, this conversation got slightly strange and after his last message (which he deleted), he started apologizing to me for being weird or creepy.
I don't blame him at all for this. I know that he has a strong preference for small chests...I knew that and sent the link anyway. I should have seen it coming. What is wrong with me? I regret making it awkward between us so fucking much.
I was just really excited in the moment and thought "Fuck it". I just wanted him to share my happiness...if only for a moment. It was a dumb thing to do.
Girls...
Please don't do what I did π
It was dumb and I should have known. Please, lovely people of Lemmy, please be smarter than me π©·
A curse of being hot is going to be navigating how to deal with friends being attracted to you. A good friend telling you he would absolutely jerk off to your pictures is actually not too far out of left field for some women. Congrats on having a πππgirl problemπππ
From here, if they made you uncomfortable, I wouldn't show any more nudes to this friend. I would also think about what they might say if they were interested in hooking up with you and be prepared to respond.
If you're both interested in each other, this is a classic friends to lovers story. Otherwise, be firm and respectful of your boundaries. They will never follow rules you don't tell them. Good luck!!
This is a problem that I legitimately thought I'd never have to deal with...
Buuut, I have to say...having a girl problem sounds (and feels) quite affirming β₯οΈ
He didn't make me feel uncomfortable at all...I think I made him feel way more uncomfortable about himself. Poor guy...π
Never, ever, ever did the thought of having to reject someone one day even slip my mind. My entire life, I've been something repulsive and undesirable...this is extremely new to me.
I hope it doesn't have to come to that, because I have a bf and also...he can do better, I'm sure π
If this was a "friends to lovers" scenario, it'd actually be really sweet and romantic, because we are basically childhood friends. But I don't think that's the path I'd like to take.
Anyways, thank you so much π