this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2023
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Thanks for your comment, it's certainly one of the better considered ones in this thread!
How do we distinguish between legitimate grievances that men may have and the more reactionary/politically divisive. Whenever I hear the above argument, it strikes me as dismissive of legitimate issues and it feels dismissive of my experiences.
In order to affect real change, do we not need to move past dismissing the problems raised by one gender? Isn't it more likely that we change people's behaviour by acceptance of their viewpoint rather than telling them they're just being difficult?
I agree with you here, but I think it's also important to take note of the fact that feminism is a fairly broad church so the idea that there is one 'feminist perspective' which cares about men too is, to my mind, undermined by the negation of the importance of men's issues I commonly see.
What legitimate issues do you think I'm being dismissive of?
I've come across a segment of society which seems to believe that men don't feel emotions in the same way as women, that they should be tough - not cry, 'be a man', 'man up'.
My belief is that a number of men in society are psychologically scarred by regressive beliefs like these and would hazard a guess that these beliefs contribute towards loneliness and suicide. I also believe that it's a big driver of things like the red pill movement.
Now you might say that this is a feminist issue, in that it's the result of outmoded gender stereotypes (which probably have a negative impact on women too), and I would broadly agree with you. But until we allow men to come out and say "I suffer too from sexism" I don't see how we can move past it.
None of the contradicts anything I said. I explicitly said it.
This is the damage wrought by patriarchy. You are not competing with women to get your case heard. It is the exact same case.
I don't believe there is a space in society for men's to talk about issues like this that affect them. I don't believe there are structures in place to attempt to address these issues.
It's certainly a problem, not least because most attempts to start something up attracts men who only want to complain about how it's all the fault of those devastatingly powerful women and everyone else gives up. But there are some surviving spaces, like the Men & Boys Coalition.