I know that feeling. My parents mistreated me. I was a people pleaser for a long time. I let people take advantage of me and I assumed they would support me in return. They did not.

I am still looking for a place where I feel at home. Maybe I'll never find it, but I'll never know if I don't try.

When no one else was there for me, I did not turn to AI. I wrote my thoughts and feelings in a notebook. It's a form of honest self reflection with no limitations; you can imbue personality into each word. Some pages contained neatly ordered sentences, others had just a few words angrily scratched into the paper. Throw some doodles in there, why not? The result is a physical log of you at a particular time in your life. You can reflect on it yourself, no external validation required.

Humanity is struggling under the weight of its own mistakes. It sounds like you are trying your best. Sometimes things are just bad. It's not your fault. I wish you well.