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this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026
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politics
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I am proud to say that we have won the war with the Universal Union! IN ONLY SEVEN HOURS! No president has ever won a war faster than me, your favorite president. The Universal Union is so impressed, they want me to administrate the entire Earth! You hear that, Canada? NOW YOU ARE THE 51st STATE! Along with everyone else! Thank you for your attention to this matter!
I am fine with this. That 51st state that is "everyone else" would basically hold all the voting power and maybe they can fix our broke ass.
Sure, provided the Combine, uh, still sees value in our electoral system. I can see Trump eagerly accepting an offer to become Earth's Administrator if the Combine agrees to make sure Trump never sees a jail cell, provided he does exactly what the Combine Advisors tell him to do.