180
Mood rule
(lemmy.nz)
Bottom left for me please 🙂
I hate myself so much...
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2026
180 points (100.0% liked)
196
6864 readers
2088 users here now
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Typically, treating us as you would any other person of that gender is a good rule of thumb. I do have some suggestions though!
Compliment things they're choosing where appropriate (i.e. outfit choices, jewelry, nails, hair, etc). A simple "your nails look good" when someone has a manicure, "I like your haircut, it suits you", "nice hat", are all good examples. Honestly, these all work for cis people as well, but having someone see, acknowledge, and compliment you means a lot when feeling dysphoric.
Invite them to typically gendered activities with you (if you do any). For example, being invited along for a girl's day by some of my women friends is always welcome. I've also been invited to get my nails done by a guy friend before, and that was also really nice!
Early in transition, having someone of your same gender take you shopping for clothes is incredibly impactful. I was fortunate to have my mom take me on a shopping trip (I was 28, and it was still an anxiety inducing to go alone to try on clothes alone). If you're different genders, this could work still, but is probably more of a case by case thing.
If you're giving a gift, something like flowers for a trans woman is a good option. I don't really have ideas for men, but maybe a cologne or something?
Probably the biggest thing is making the effort to address them properly. Use their name and pronouns. If you make a mistake, don't make a big deal out of it or try to justify it. Just go "sorry, she/he/they/name" and continue your point. "This is hard for me" from someone is an instant ticket to dysphoria (oh they still see me as deadname) and wanting to get away from them.
Ask them if there's some way you can better support them. Even if they go "I don't know", knowing that you care enough to ask means a lot!
I don't have great general advice when it comes to non binary people, as their dysphoria is often a lot different from people with more binary genders. Point number 5 broadly applies, and point 6 might result in more specifics for that individual person that you can act on.