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I really did try everything
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2026
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Trans Memes
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A place to post memes relating to the transgender experience.
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I have questioned my own gender a lot in the past few months and on and off throughout my life. I've kind of come to the conclusion that I'm gender ambivalent with a lot of traits that mean I probably would of had a better life had I transitioned to a woman a long time ago but now don't really see the point.
And before you guys say it is "never too late", remember I said "gender ambivalent" I don't identify as any gender. I would have been a hot woman, now I wouldn't be. ATM I'm a relatively hot scrawny (by american standards) older guy. The trade off's for me are not worth it.
If I realized "Oh hey actually I 100% just identify as a woman" sure. I'd probably do it even at this age (about to be 38). But its more either would be fine, identity wise, I just wish I had figured out I was gender ambivalent and would have been significantly happier making an early transition for practical social purposes.
My personality is a mismatch. I'm not a masculine person in key ways. This has led to consistent relationship issues.
I do often idly hope that making medical science will reach a point where we can have anti-aging tech that would effectively give us all access to indefinite youth. I'd probably transition then but that's probably a pipedream unless we're just before some kind of exponential curve. Finger's crossed I guess.
🤨 That's really not too old
^Also, while I can't tell you who you are, I'm not sure the word ambivalent is an accurate word to describe someone would be "significantly happier making an early transition".^
Not speaking for OP here, but it did make me think about my own experience. For so long, I had the thought of “well, I’d transition if I could, but I’d be such an ugly woman, so what would the point be anyway?”.
It’s super fucked up, but I even felt bad for my younger sister because I was like “oh, darn, she is doomed to be ugly when she grows up, because we have the same parents and look alike.” (Never fear, she’s absolutely adorable!) Even after I accepted I was nonbinary at 26 I was like “well, I’m too old to transition now, so I’ll never take hormones or tell anyone, so it’s no big deal, I’ll just keep it to myself.” And I told myself that I was ambivalent about my gender either way (spoiler: I was not actually ambivalent lol)
It’s amazing the backflips my brain did to try to avoid accepting that I’m a trans woman. Anyway, I’m 30 now and on HRT for 7 months, and I’ve never felt better about myself! Never going back 🥰
"Older guy" made me think retirement age, not 37. Anyway I considered myself gender ambivalent for a couple years (or I guess apagender, as in apathy) and I don't think I really grasped that it's still a trans identity, and a pretty cool one too. It's worth doing something with it (for me that just meant going by Any pronouns online)