I do. Happened a couple of months after moving in with my boyfriend. We were both still getting used to our new bed or at least, I was. It still wasn't "mapped" in my brain.
We were getting frisky one day and we decided to have some fun. We were making out and he was slowly inching me towards the edge of the bed. I was facing him, kissing him, not looking at the bed. As soon as he thought I was close enough to the bed, he grabbed me and basically lovingly threw me on the bed...
...except that I wasn't close enough ๐. My tailbone and the hard, wooden bed frame made contact...and I was in a lot of pain.
I didn't hear any cracks, which was good, but it hurt like hell. He took me to the hospital where a young male doctor saw me. He asked me to explain what had happened, so I said, beet red and with embarrassment written all over my face:
Me: "I...h-hit my butt on the w-wooden bed frame..." (blushes and hides face in hands)
Him: "You...hit your...butt? On the bed frame?"
And he looked at me with this expression...it was a mix of "Are you crazy?" while also trying to stop himself from laughing, holding on for dear life trying to stay professional. Looking back now, it was fucking hilarious ๐. I ended up getting an X-ray of my pelvis and I was just fine. But damn was I pissed at my bf for a while, for putting me through that ๐คฃ
Another one I have is shorter and probably not as amusing, but here goes. We were visiting Prague together, staying at one of my bf's friend's. His apartment had a shower. Magical, cause we only have a bathtub and it sucks ass.
Anyway, sometime during the evening, we decided to have some fun, and of course we wanted to take advantage of the spacious, comfortable shower instead of our cramped, small bathtub. So we get in, he's behind me and we start going at it. Both of my hands are on the wet wall, which did not offer much in the way of support. This position, combined with my bf's enthusiastic thrusts and also all of the wet and slippery surfaces soon caused me to lose balance...which would have probably been fatal in that situation.
Naturally, I got a massive adrenaline rush and quickly grabbed onto the faucet for support, to stop myself from falling. However, with that jolt of adrenaline came lots of tension...and with my bf still inside of me, I squeezed him HARD. He almost cried out, from surprise and also the sudden, hard, unrelenting SQUEEZE.
We had to stop after that, because I didn't want to risk falling again and my bf wasn't in the mood anymore. He later told me that I "Almost bit his dick off", which is a funny way to put it ๐. We both had a laugh about it later, but in the moment, he was NOT pleased lol
I'm interested in hearing your experiences tho. Please share what you feel comfortable with โค๏ธ
My ex was always much funnier than me. But we first established a raport through sharing reddit humor (the unfunniest of jokes) including that one famous story about the guy who attempted to talk dirty when requested by his girlfriend to "be kind of mean" and he called her a slur for disabled people.
During our first time together my ex decides to start cracking jokes to punctuate our palpable anxiety and sets me up with "Talk dirty to me Chaunticleer"
I can't just repeat the reddit joke but I have autism and I'm slow off the cuff so I lean in and whisper "George Bush did 9-11"
Without missing a beat she pulled me closer and demanded "Crash your airplane into my towers"
We're pretty unfunny but both have the quality of managing our uncomfortable feelings by just staying the stupidest thing that pops into our brain
dunno about the "unfunny" part, both your "dirty talk" and your ex's reply would've made me burst into laughter if i was on the receiving end of either of it
I was glad to finally tell the story and that it was received well. I hope you have a partner that makes you laugh like she made me, it really makes life worthwhile
I feel like you appreciate finest girl by lonely island
That's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Guess I should found out what they've been up to ๐