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Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.
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3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.
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5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.
6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.



My ex-wife's grandparents lived just outside Chicago. Her grandfather used to hang out at the local mall, because he wanted to practice his Spanish by talking to random Latino families that passed by. He was so casually racist, that he would occasionally have someone threaten to kick the shit of him over something he said...and he had absolutley no idea why they were even mad at him. And I'm not kidding, he was probably the sweetest old man you're ever going to meet...would give anyone the shirt off his back, and genuinely didn't mean any of it in a negative way. He was just so saturated in white privilege, that had no idea that most of the things he said were completely inappropriate.
As a Canadian, I always marveled at the idea that he was "one of the nice ones". That if you put him on one end of the racist spectrum, there was an entire range of people out there, that were progressively worse than him. And in US culture...this was just "normal" behavior.
There is certainly a difference between oblivious accidental racism and intentional hatred based racism. Neither are good, but one is certainly a bigger problem.
I could argue that it’s actually the oblivious accidental racism that is the bigger problem because that is what reinforces structural and system racism. The blatant rager is more visible and obviously dangerous, so can be countered or avoided fairly easily.
Maybe we have different ideas of the oblivious racist. They should have their rights taken away kinda people I would group in with the hateful ones.
I think we agree on who we're talking about, but I'm just talking about scale. The hateful ones are an immediate threat to the people around them, but the oblivious ones are a far larger number of people and thus drive societal forces that cause statistical problems that cumulatively do more damage than one-off murders and such.