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On rules
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2026
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Autism
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The second part, where neurodivergent folks do follow rules and get angry when others don't, is the flip side of the coin where neurotypicals don't follow rules that they consider not really that important. They know the rules, they know why, they just think the consequences aren't that bad, or they don't feel the consequences or pure ego. Why is it pathologised when neurodivergent people don't follow rules, but when neurotypicals do it, its fine. Then neurodivergent people are pathologised for noticing neurotypicals don't follow rules. But when neurotypicals notice neurodivergent folk not following rules, not pathologised.
Sorry for the meaningless rant. I haven't had a coffee yet. Better go fix that. Eta: ok I've just had one sip, but now I've got more for the meaningless rant...
Why is it described as "if neurodivergent don't fully understand a rule" and not "when neurotypicals poor communication skills don't explain rules properly, whole swathes of people fail to follow the rule, because of said communication issue"
I don't know why it's gotta be neurotypical vs neurodivergent anyways. My audhd partner is absolute shit sometimes at explaining things in a way that me, a person with a brain tumor, can understand. He'll leave these gaps in his instructions because it seems obvious and intuitive to him, then get frustrated when I misunderstand.
Like, there was this time I was helping him cut some really long 2x4s, where the boards were long enough that it was off the saw table, which was making them bend and not cut right. So he had me go stand at the end and "keep them straight", which I interpreted as keeping the end from drooping AND/OR wandering off course. He just wanted me to keep it from drooping. So he got irritated that we had to try a third time, snappy with me about clarifying questions, and I still don't quite understand why keeping it from wandering off course was a bad thing.
Likewise, I'm also horrible at explaining things sometimes. My brain sometimes straight up forgets words, and I'm just over here hoping you can understand what I mean by "that thingie" and charades.