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this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2026
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Not The Onion
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Some 5 year old will hear about this and start panicking.
Insert picture of Big Bird in front of a circle of sitting kids with wide eyes and a speech bubble: "... and after it swallows our entire planet whole, it will destabilize the outer planets, swallowing some of them and hurling others out into inter-stellar space where they will become rogue planets. It doesn't matter how many vegetables you eat or chores you finish, this eventuality is inevitable, which is today's word of the day!"
Right along with quicksand and the Bermuda Triangle