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The annoying dad
(lemmy.nz)
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this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2026
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So this sounds like a kid who's in high school, probably 14 or 15. Enough freedom to go off and make mistakes, not old enough to always be able to bail from weird situations (no car or license, just doesn't have the confidence yet to speak up).
You want your kids to go out and make mistakes, just not ones that have permanent consequences. Having a set up like this is how you let them go get in a little trouble and have a reasonably safe exit plan.
I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I'm yet to be a parent of a teenager but that clock is ticking.
My initial thought is, by the time my kids are able to get into situations which are "getting weird", I hope they're equipped to extricate themselves without needing this kind of cover call from dad. I mean, what if I didn't check my messages or something?
I really hope my kids are confident enough to say that they don't feel comfortable with something and just leave.
Hopes are great, but if you ever become a parent, give them a backup plan other than just being naturally cool and confident and immune to peer pressure.
My dad had a similar code with me and I never had to call him in, but there were a few times where knowing that I could gave me the confidence to stay true to myself.
Been a parent of three, was a teenager myself before the Communication Age. It's good to be honest with your kids that they're going to do dumb shit and you're going to bail them out no matter what. They have to be presented with difficult situations to learn how to respond to them, and knowing that their parents have their back is part of what gives them confidence.
I'm an 80s kid myself.
My parents were weird Christian types that preferred to believe kids never did anything, but also did not want to spend any time or take any interest with us.
Consequently we did all sorts of risky stuff and couldn't ask our parents when shit got weird.
With that background, it's absolutely important to me that my kids know I'll always back them up as you say.
However, none of that really supports the weird escape code set up in the OP. Does your kid really need an adult to call and take the blame for getting them out of a situation? Or are there a myriad of other better ways your kid could navigate a bad situation.
I'm sure I'll make loads of mistakes as a parent, so I might fail in this regard, but my hope is that my kid has the confidence to just say they don't want to be a part of something.
From the same time period and set of circumstances. I have a soon-to-be teenager myself now, and we've set up a few failsafes for exactly these situations. If "shit gets weird," he knows we've got his back, no questions asked.
Kids can be cruel, and you never know who might show up unannounced, for example. He's a strong little guy, but if say three drunk older kids appear to to tune someone up I wouldn't expect him to get in between, nor make himself a natural secondary target by calling in an obvious way. This would negate that, for example. I had a rough childhood myself and no parents I could trust, so it seemed like an important thing to have. It has proven very useful once already. He quite literally saved a girl he didn't even know from getting smacked around by some asshole.
Everyone has to parent in their own way and setting up a system like this has to be better than not having it.
However, as I suspect you're alluding to with the combat tips, the first line of defense is everything else you've taught your kid.
So you also remember how fast rumors and gossip would spread without technology. It's a thousand times worse now. As a parent, I'd be happy to play the bad guy if my kid thinks that's the best choice in their social dynamic. They know better than I do what kind of risk of social backlash there might be.
It's hard to be a kid. Anything that I can do to give them a leg up is okay. I should also mention that that kind of bad guy ploy is only part of it. Talking about situations before and after is a much bigger part.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Actual parenting might not "pop" in a meme format, but it's more important than silly wing man arrangements.