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this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2026
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Asklemmy
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Most of these posts assume that the goal for being nice and good is FOR the rewards. Like, "I donate to my homeless shelter all the time, and do I get any thanks? The HELL with them!" That is where it usually fails. The real trick is being strong enough to stay nice DESPITE the lack or rewards, or even inconvenience. You are nice and good because it's a core of who you are, not just for flattery and incentives.
I'm nice because it makes me feel good. That's the only reward I need.
Same. But another thing I add when I don't feel like being nice is "be nice out of spite." Spite is against a universe trying to make me mean and bitter. "Oh the Universe is cold and uncaring," yeah well, fuck the universe, then. I'm not doing for the universe, I am doing it for me.
Right, you shouldn't expect to be rewarded for it.
I expected also more negative things or at least people taking it for granted but to my surprise I got very positive reactions from a few basic kind acts.
When I hear people told my GF I'm always there for them and one of the few people they can count on that means a lot.
“What you’re talking about is the theory of Moral Desert Elenor, that we do good things for the rewards.”
“The real question is what do we owe to each other“
“The drinks are on me. Good luck.”
Yeah, getting to be nice and spreading smiles and just happiness around is all anyone can hope for.
You win some and lose some. Careerwise or monetarily it’s tougher but not inherently. Just capitalism. And I’d rather lose there and win in warmness and having nice and amazing people around