Being a nice and good person is its own reward. It doesn't matter if you were nice and got taken advantage of. What matters is that you were nice. It doesn't matter that you saved money and it was hit by inflation. The point is that you saved money. What results from your actions can never be guaranteed. The point is that you did what you thought was right.
Because it's constructive, simply put an explicit and constant effort. Your work is being cooped by other people, but it's your work nonetheless. Evolve to find better ways to protecting it if you can - is the general notion. Your mileage may vary.
Most of these posts assume that the goal for being nice and good is FOR the rewards. Like, "I donate to my homeless shelter all the time, and do I get any thanks? The HELL with them!" That is where it usually fails. The real trick is being strong enough to stay nice DESPITE the lack or rewards, or even inconvenience. You are nice and good because it's a core of who you are, not just for flattery and incentives.
I'm nice because it makes me feel good. That's the only reward I need.
Same. But another thing I add when I don't feel like being nice is "be nice out of spite." Spite is against a universe trying to make me mean and bitter. "Oh the Universe is cold and uncaring," yeah well, fuck the universe, then. I'm not doing for the universe, I am doing it for me.
Right, you shouldn't expect to be rewarded for it.
I expected also more negative things or at least people taking it for granted but to my surprise I got very positive reactions from a few basic kind acts.
When I hear people told my GF I'm always there for them and one of the few people they can count on that means a lot.
“What you’re talking about is the theory of Moral Desert Elenor, that we do good things for the rewards.”
“The real question is what do we owe to each other“
“The drinks are on me. Good luck.”
Honest answer you don't wanna hear?
If you're good to reap a benefit, you're not good. You just tried maximizing your own profit by this and failed.
Being "good and nice" is an ethical decision and will not inherently reward you. Being evil is easy, as it's our native state of existence. Egoisim, egocentrism, anthropocentrism. A cold heart can't take any harm.
Being evil makes life in an evil world (capitalism, humanity itself) much easier. Yes. But also you're part of the problem, not the solution. Even though noone gives a shit what you insect (no insult, just emphasizing our insignificance) do.
You will never be rewarded for doing the right or good thing. Or extremely rarely. Mostly you'll be ridiculed, scammed, made fun of, exploited and whatever else.
Personally, I don't give a fuck. I am what I am, if anyone wants to exploit me, it's their loss. Looking for equals is hard, but very rewarding.
Lemme quote a game (lol...):
"What is better? To be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"
Being evil is not the natural state of existence.
If that were the case, humanity would have never come this far.
Humans are socially engineered. Capitalism was created and designed to capitalize and corner. It rewards greed and selfish people often portraying the negative and evil characteristics. Our economy encourages evil people because they're successful in capitalism. You won't be a billionaire by caring about other people. All of them exploit a majority of the working class. The world right now is designed for bad people because economic success encourages negative characteristics. That's why white collar crimes are a dime a dozen. Basically when you start with a turd and then gold spray it you end with a shiny turd. That's why you always have feel good stories about some rich millionaire giving away or donating show up in news. Its news worthy to be rich, successful and a good person. Even though its basic human decency.
Yeah. I just try to find the balance and let others deal.
Being nice isn't about getting stuff for yourself
Capitalism
This is life, there are no guarantees, and randomness can create massive problems.
If you always look for a specific outcome (for what you put in as you see as effort), then you will most likely always be dissapointed.
The world sucks, then you die, so you might as well make the best of it while here and help your fellow humans along the way.
exactly this is so true, i really hate how random life is. if only life is fair enough to always reward nice person, then that will be utopia.
Try to consider being kind as its own reward, rather than something you do to gain another result
I was going to say this same thing exactly.
The benefit of being nice is living in a nice place with nice people, not winning some zero sum game of immediate gratification
It is never about good and evil, only about what works and what doesn't. Contributing towards others wellbeing above your own will inevitably hurt the latter, unless you are so unshakeably well established within yourself that nothing can ever even scratch you. At the same time to even be capable to improve wellbeing of others you need your own wellbeing taken care of
And yes, wellbeing does not mean consuming more and of higher quality than someone else, it means being well
You can be nice, but establish boundaries. You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Why are you treating this like it's transactional?
Your character is a reflection on you and not a ticket to preferential treatment.
Being a genuine good human doesn't make life easier, but it gives you peace of mind, because it's the right thing to do.
And if people feel, that you mean it genuinely, they are much more likely to help you back.
life is really unfair world.
The capitalistic world is.
right now i can relate why some people choose to become evil person, because being good and nice person in this world is just not as rewarding as bad people does.
Most evil people are born bad.
tried to stay positive, then misfortune strikes
What happened? I hope you don't live in Palestine.
tried making friends, ended up ghosted
What happened?
tried save money, inflation happens
This will keep on happening if you live the US.
Best is to buy durable goods.
tried being nice, taken advantage of
What happened?
tried being honest, get hatred
Some people are mean and you'll get hatred from no matter what.
Be honest to those you can be honest to.
But again, what happened?
tried religion
Don't
tried theraphy,
Therapy exists because medicine for your ailment doesn't yet.
tried sell product online, fees and tax cut, also less buyers.
What happened? I hope you don't live in Palestine.
i am not from palestine, but lot of bad things happened to me this year, including lost 4 years worth buisiness, third burn degree on both of my hand because of hospital malpractice, diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression, even a lizard decided to drop on my body when i was going to toilet.
What happened?
i tried to approached some people, be as friendly as possible, then get ignored
This will keep on happening if you live the US.
it also happens in asia too.
What happened?
i done lot of hardwork and being as nice as possible, but certain platform decided to take advantage of me and i am taking loss in the end.
But again, what happened?
one of them is i am being honest that life is not always about getting married, have kids, etc, but lot of people hate and think its coward mindset.
Therapy exists because medicine for your ailment doesn't yet.
and theraphy itself doesnt too
Pretty much all of the examples you provided happen to shitty people too, probably at a hiring rate in many cases. The benefit of being a good person on those situations is that at least you can take pride in not being a turd. Take your list, and reverse the logic for each input and see if that would make you feel better.
Just a handful of examples.
Most of the things you listed are not moral things.
All of these have nothing to do with moral good or evil. An evil person can stay positive that their plan to steal credit from coworker will result in their promotion. An evil person can make friends and take more than they give from the relationship. An evil person can take a better job that exploits vulnerable populations. An evil person can hoard wealth... And on and on.
It seems like you are saying things aren't working out for you financially, socially, etc. And for a lot of that cognitive behavioral therapy can certainly help you reframe bad thinking and patterns to make things better. That doesn't mean all your problems are solved, but it can make things better.
Many of the things you listed are wise things to do rather than morally good. And even if they don't result in your idea of "success" they almost always result in something better than having not done them. For example saving money. Let's say you save 10,000 and inflation makes it only have the purchasing power of 8,000. You find yourself in a spot where you are unemployed and that 8,000 is going to be a saving grace. It will help your life way more than if you had blown it on 10,000 worth of vacations or consumer goods.
Are evil people negative? Pretty sure they are positive in a toxic sense
Yeah, they’d lipstick that pig for slaughter.
It’s less financially rewarding because most of the developed world exists in the context of late stage capitalism and / or oligopoly.
Have you tried to just sit in silence? That's rewarding as hell.
doesnt work for me, it actually triggers my anxiety much more.
This just sounds like life. You sound like you're in a depression slump because I start to view things the same way when I get in these slumps.
Being a helpful person is actually more rewarding to your well being than being a scammer. Read or listen to the YouTube audiobook, "The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama"
For staying positive, staying positive won’t prevent disaster, but it can help you move past it. For saving money, ideally invest it, either get a high yield savings account at >3% interest which (roughly) beats inflation. Or try an index fund if you can save that money for long term.
As a trans person get this so much. I've turned mean and dry as a person, specially to men. Somehow making fun of the men attracted to me gives me some sense of power I never have.
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