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this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2026
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I still dislike the idea of calling somebody cuck like that. It reinforces standards of toxic masculinity that devalues men for being less dominant than their spouse. It's also bonus kink shaming that reinforces conservative norms. Monogamous norms are reinforced. On top of all that, the origin of the insult for Ian is rooted in right wingers who felt betrayed, so using their language validates their perspective.
The real problem with Idubbz is that he's effectively become a lolcow. He sucks at the PR necessary to be the type of internet personality he's become, and he sucks for the same reason that he got popular. He doesn't consider managing perception, only doing what he wants to do. That was fine as a nobody doing edgy shock humor and roasting people online, but that doesn't work when trying to organize a public event or trying to reinvent his image to be less harmful.
Just like with any other lolcow, the milked content having an element of truth does not make harvesting it any better. A lolcow could be the worst person imaginable, everything people claim about them could be correct, and it still wouldn't be ok harass and parasocially analyze a person's life. Not only is it impossible to help a creator that way, helping the creator is never the point of engaging in lolcow culture. It's just entertainment at the expense of vulnerable people. It's best to ignore that shit entirely.
Okay, I don't call people cucks either. Just pointing out that OP(?) didn't say that for the reason you were accusing.
I could make similar arguments about the word "lolcow" reenforcing a predatory content sphere as well as neurotypical ideas of what makes a person respectable. I won't, of course. That's just my opinion.
It's the toxic, parasocial internet communities that define a lolcow, not the person being harassed. The problem was always those who view people as animals for their entertainment. The real freaks were always those who paid to see "freakshows," not the people they gawked at.
You're 100% correct, but you're still using the term 'lolcow' to refer to a human being.
I don't see how I could put it more simply - it's the same dehumanization problem as calling someone trapped in an abusive relationship a 'cuck.' Furthermore, how does using 'cuck' reenforce the right wing ideas of one community that uses it, but 'lolcow' doesn't do the same?
You are correct about your analysis of the usage of 'cuck', but I fail to see how 'lolcow' doesn't do the same exact thing. Cuck or lolcow - you're both implying he's a loser for his personal failings as percieved by a wider audience.
That's a fair criticism. I wish there was an easier way to refer to the assholes who create the culture than the person being exploited
The internet is just hard to deal with in general. I'm almost positive that 50 years from now we'll still be struggling to understand what it's done to us. It just allows culture to develop far faster than we can analyze it. Once people stop using 'cuck' and 'lolcow,' there will probably be like 50 new words that aren't called slurs but are definitely used like slurs. Nobody can change from where they came, slang propagates itself, and I think that's part of the problem.
I think that's a lot more than just being "less dominant", it seems pretty unhealthy
And it's not the internet's job to try and do couples therapy on micro celebs.
We can do social analysis but not personal analysis? That seems questionable; and aren't they very related?
no, we cannot analyze a creator's life. Not only can we be wrong, but randos rarely help. Hell, it wouldn't even be appropriate to openly pry that much into a friend's life.
This is hyper-individualism but woke. Community, friendship, societies require accountability and mutual respect.
If one of my friends saw something in my life that was negatively impacting my life, and didn't say anything, it would come across as not respecting me enough to want the best for me.
Of course this doesn't mean everyone should get an equal say, but individualism sneaks into everything and is one of the greatest weapons the Epstein class uses to separate, isolate, weaken, and compromise the working class.
The issue is that people often cause more harm in their efforts to help. It's helpful to make sure they know they have support if they need it, but they need to make the change themselves. Outside can assist, but the heavy lifting can only be done by the person. If they don't want to change and don't want your help, you can't do much. It's not a matter of individualism, but a reality of mental health.
One of the worst things you can do is lose their trust by putting the wrong pressure on them. If they feel you're violating their autonomy, they might close you off and make it harder for them to get help when they want it. It's also entirely possible that you have the wrong read on a situation, and thus any advice might come off as out of touch and condescending.
Anyhow, I didn't mean that we shouldn't help people, I just think we shouldn't go to far in our efforts to help.
Yeah as someone who's been in a situation where someone was being abusive towards me, I was extremely grateful when friends brought it up to me. It took me from "this woman is hurting me, but it feels like it's not intentional" to "oh it's willfull, but it doesn't matter, I should cut her out of my life regardless"
The general acceptance and even encouragement of individualistic mindsets is greatly disappointing to me.
If I saw my friend visibly upset and uncomfortable from their partner's actions I would absolutely be concerned
It's one thing to be concerned, and another entirely to do anything to help them
What's your point? You seemed to suggest neither is a good idea?
It's easy to fuck up in attempts to help others. You can let them know what you think and be there for them, but be careful to not lose their trust.
This is true. Also I think we've strayed pretty far from the original context of the conversation.
It still applies to Ian. We can't help him. He's heard everything, so it's best to just leave him be