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this post was submitted on 12 Oct 2026
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I think that's a lot more than just being "less dominant", it seems pretty unhealthy
And it's not the internet's job to try and do couples therapy on micro celebs.
We can do social analysis but not personal analysis? That seems questionable; and aren't they very related?
no, we cannot analyze a creator's life. Not only can we be wrong, but randos rarely help. Hell, it wouldn't even be appropriate to openly pry that much into a friend's life.
This is hyper-individualism but woke. Community, friendship, societies require accountability and mutual respect.
If one of my friends saw something in my life that was negatively impacting my life, and didn't say anything, it would come across as not respecting me enough to want the best for me.
Of course this doesn't mean everyone should get an equal say, but individualism sneaks into everything and is one of the greatest weapons the Epstein class uses to separate, isolate, weaken, and compromise the working class.
The issue is that people often cause more harm in their efforts to help. It's helpful to make sure they know they have support if they need it, but they need to make the change themselves. Outside can assist, but the heavy lifting can only be done by the person. If they don't want to change and don't want your help, you can't do much. It's not a matter of individualism, but a reality of mental health.
One of the worst things you can do is lose their trust by putting the wrong pressure on them. If they feel you're violating their autonomy, they might close you off and make it harder for them to get help when they want it. It's also entirely possible that you have the wrong read on a situation, and thus any advice might come off as out of touch and condescending.
Anyhow, I didn't mean that we shouldn't help people, I just think we shouldn't go to far in our efforts to help.
Yeah as someone who's been in a situation where someone was being abusive towards me, I was extremely grateful when friends brought it up to me. It took me from "this woman is hurting me, but it feels like it's not intentional" to "oh it's willfull, but it doesn't matter, I should cut her out of my life regardless"
The general acceptance and even encouragement of individualistic mindsets is greatly disappointing to me.
If I saw my friend visibly upset and uncomfortable from their partner's actions I would absolutely be concerned
It's one thing to be concerned, and another entirely to do anything to help them
What's your point? You seemed to suggest neither is a good idea?
It's easy to fuck up in attempts to help others. You can let them know what you think and be there for them, but be careful to not lose their trust.
This is true. Also I think we've strayed pretty far from the original context of the conversation.
It still applies to Ian. We can't help him. He's heard everything, so it's best to just leave him be