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this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2026
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Linux Gaming
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I'd recommend Stoat because they won't rape you for all the personal data they can.
Precisely, Stoat or fluxer
App looks very similar too. But friends, other devs and communities aren't using it. Their privacy agreements seems to be much better than Discord, especially because their servers are located in Europe. But one should still understand this is not entirely private either. Note, I am not dunking on this service, just want to remember people to read privacy notices:
- https://stoat.chat/legal/privacy
An alternative could also be Matrix, which at least is decentralized: https://matrix.org/
There's also XMPP as an alternative. And Fluxer.
Matrix, XMPP, and (now) Fluxer all have federation between servers, though they all use different protocols. I know there's a bridge between Matrix and XMPP too
I know of XMPP, but never looked closer. A quick research to find differences and similarities lead to a post / page from Luke Smith. Didn't heard this name for a long time... https://lukesmith.xyz/articles/matrix-vs-xmpp/
True story: one weekend I convinced my friends and family to try Matrix instead, and within the first day of using it someone spammed them with CSAM. That was the last of trying Matrix.
This is horrible, but its not like a Matrix only issue. I used Matrix a few times, but stopped because most people aren't there. Never had an issue like CSAM or similar. In example someone got hacked by an exploit in the Linux Kernel. Does that mean everyone should stop using Linux?
I just simply can't and won't ask friends and family to try it again after they experienced that.
Don't get me wrong, I understand your situation. It's also embarrassing and traumatic, especially because you had experienced it yourself. I just meant this in general, that people should not be afraid of trying Matrix, because YOU had these terrible experience.
That was a coordinated attack that happened for a brief period. As a guy who runs his own home server, trust me when I say it was a nightmare for all involved.
That's over, now that there are strong protections in place to prevent those sorts of attacks.
Also, if you're trying to just use something between friends and family you can always turn off federation (E.g. Have matrix act just like the alternatives where you have one network and are only communicating with local accounts).
So glad I don't have to wake up every morning and purge all remote media from the prior evening 😂
Yeah, it's worth remembering that something similar happened on the threadiverse a while back. I think there is now some automated detection and removal enabled for most significant instances.
I'd recommend Fluxer over Stoat. Seems to be gaining more users and traction in a fraction of Stoat's time.
I recommend Haven if your focus (!) is self hosting. Just a single container.
Chatto is also quite interesting (especially architecturally), but I dislike event sourcing without ability to technically prune old stuff. Also it’s closer to Slack than Discord.
Trying to get my friends to try Fluxer as well. 🫠 Maybe one day. I'm refusing discord though, so when they play with me they are forced to talk to me using Steam's voice chat.
fluxer.lemmy.world is still returning a 404
then where’s stoat.sdf.org? 🤣
The lights are barely kept on for our Lemmy instance, I don't expect a Stoat server anytime soon...
Then maybe they should take a massive bankloan🤣😂