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I often feel like a loser. I don’t do any sports, but i’ve been wanting to get back into swimming since i used to do it as a kid and i kind of miss it, i don’t play any instruments, and there are days once every two or three weeks where i’m just home all day. I am addicted to my phone, or rather addicted to YouTube, i am watching YT videos most of my day, not even watching but often just leave them in the background and go on with my day. I have accomplished some cool stuff, like i just recently got out of morbid obesity by following a diet, i got my English C1 certification and i’m learning Spanish and Mandarin with surprisingly good results. I have been studying stuff i’m interested in, mainly politics, philosophy, and most recently I’m getting more into maths and physics. However, even tho i did achieve those things, i feel like i should do more.

I have always envied people that play instruments but never got around to do it myself (one friend of mine proposed to borrow me his old guitar, i might accept), i don’t workout currently because for the past 2 years i got a gym membership but didn’t care enough to show up consistently because it’s just boring to me, i’d like to go out more but many of my friends are always busy or just out of reach, and i live a bit far from the city so i can’t just “take a walk”, because i’d have nowhere to go and for a big portion of the road near my house there is no sidewalks at all.

I feel like i’m just making up excuses, but idk, do you know how i can stop feeling that way?

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[-] venusaur@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Sorry you’re feeling this way. Something almost everybody struggles with is comparing yourself to others. I’d think about how past you might feel about you today after health and educational goals. Nice job! You should be proud of yourself.

Next, think about what makes somebody a loser and if you were evaluating somebody else in your exact same position would you think they’re a loser? There are two pieces here:

  1. If you don’t think they’re a loser, why do you think you are?
  2. Who are you or anybody else to judge who is a loser?

Lastly, there is no reason why you should not be setting goals for yourself for the things that you feel you are falling behind on (e.g. learning an instrument), but ask yourself why you haven’t taken your friend up on their offer to borrow the guitar? Is it because you really don’t want to play guitar and just think it’s something non-losers do? Maybe something else or a bit of both.

A. You’re not a loser
B. Don’t compare yourself to others
C. If you want to do something, do it, and if you don’t stick with it, figure out why not.

Good luck! You’re a rockstar!

this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2026
39 points (93.3% liked)

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