I've always thought the best way to increase your feelings of self worth is to volunteer to help others in need. It might be at a local food bank, helping others in the community for simple yard work, whatever you think will have an impact.

I know plenty of people who do have hobbies and all that, and they are plenty losers. Being a loser isn’t about having an empty CV, it’s more of a vibe thing. If you can keep yourself generally clean, have a few neat things you do(you seem to), and can generally keep things together when other people are relying on you then you’re doing great.

The defining traits for losers are people who blame others for all problems(sometimes it really is there fault, but you know what I mean), are generally nasty, and who make people uncomfortable. If someone doesn’t do those things they may or may not be boring, but they won’t be a loser.

Probably not so good advice but to stop 'being' a loser is to stop feeling like one. You're doing amazing OP. The language, the diet change, getting into more hobbies. If you start believing you can do it, you can accomplish everything else. Mindset matters but the hardest part is starting, but you can do this!

Honestly, you sound like an interesting person. I suggest leaving your phone behind and volunteer or do something with a communal aspect. If you need some suggestions, let me know.

Need to scale a priority hierarchy.

Education / job should be #1 as it will give you a feeling of motion and moving forward.

Exercise and healthy living is #2

Hobbies as #3

Routine and scheduling discipline as #4

Well, why does that make you feel like a loser? You've listed things you do, and things you don't do, but nothing about your values or worldview.

Your emotions come less from what's happening, itself, and more from your thoughts about what's happening. Those are individual to a person, so what advice would work, depends very strongly on it.

It's not the amount of stuff you do. Trust me. I'm in my 40s and still beat myself up daily. I have an awesome house, partner, friends, hobbies, pretty much the whole thing. Still a loser in my mind.

You're doing great. Now for the hard part, believing that.

i’d like to go out more but many of my friends are always busy or just out of reach, and i live a bit far from the city so i can’t just “take a walk”, because i’d have nowhere to go and for a big portion of the road near my house there is no sidewalks at all.

A lot of stuff is like this where what your life is like is about your circumstances more than it is about anything being wrong with you. The problem with thinking about your self worth only in terms of the end result of achievements and success is that it's disconnected from reality, because it's only looking at results and comparisons to people with different circumstances. It's better to think about what choices you realistically have and whether you are making the best ones you can given what you have to work with, because in the end you're only human and that is all you can do. Put yourself in the most favorable circumstances you can for what you actually want your life to be like, make the best choices you can, congratulate yourself if you've done that.

I don't have any good advice to to offer, but I play a couple instruments, work out in the form of carpentry (and other trade skills when they come up), I could go out and do something everyday but opt to stay home by myself most days. I'm in great shape, I make the most money I ever have, and I have everything I ever wanted. I still feel like the biggest fucking loser I know most days.

I spend my days alone by a forced necessity of responsibilities I've made for myself ie. The chicken coop needs work, actually the whole thing needs to be rebuilt, now I need to retill the field again, I can't go out because I put a lunch of electrical equipment in a barn so now I have to spend the next month insulating and sealing the whole structure before winter hits. I'm afraid if I spend to much time with other people they'll see what a loser I am.

All that to say I don't think you need to play an instrument or go to the gym everyday to not be a loser. I think that's the societal easy route that most people default to, but deep down it's something else. I don't know what that is, but if you find out let me know.

Also don't judge yourself based off of other people, everyone's fake in some way.

Stop thinking about yourself and you'll stop thinking less of yourself.

You need to heal your self esteem. Be kind to yourself, then slowly you'll start to feel better. It takes a long time, don't give up. Therapy helps a ton if it's right for you, don't be afraid to change therapists until you find someone you vibe with. It doesn't matter how much you accomplish, you'll feel like a loser until your self esteem is fixed.

Maybe therapy and medication could help you and get you out the depressive mentality. Also, social interactions with people who have similar interests might help.

Find something you enjoy and do it. You find the gym boring, so don't use that as a metric. Just like don't use any other "norm" as a metric. You have to find what you personally enjoy.

Change your Diet, change your mind - it's a book by MD Ede. The metabolic psychiatric link appears to be quite large.

infographic

The theory is basically, brain energy metabolism is important, a lot of people are suffering brain energy issues because of their diet, fixing the diet to be lower carb, or even zero carb, can improve brain function, mood, depression markers. This may help you get out of your funk

You already seem to be doing more than most people. In terms of the gym. You already spend countless just watching a screen, have you tried doing the same but being on a bike? At least you’d be making better use out of that time. Trying to trick your brain is usually a good way for me to start on things.

You can speak 3 languages? That's awesome! I'm jelouse at those who can view so Mich more of the world than me. (As soon as a sign or a poster isn't in English, I'll be lost)

It sounds like you're doing quite a bit of stuff already! You can only do so much you know. Don't beat yourself up over what you aren't doing, cheer because you managed to do so much already. Four languages, successful diet, studying tons of subjects, that's well above average compared to what most people are doing (sitting on the couch eating crisps and watching tv after a boring work day).

Sports has always been boring to me too. I get my exercise in by incorporating it into my daily life, e.g. by cycling to work or the supermarket. If you get an electric bike it suddenly becomes much easier to just hop on and go somewhere, since it's not as exhausting, yet you do actually still get most of the benefits from moving. Put on some music or a good podcast and it's not as boring anymore as it used to be. Might I recommend Lateral? It's a quiz show hosted by Tom Scott with rotating guests, lots of YouTubers but also more famous people like Adam Savage have been on.

Excessive YouTube can also be a bit dulling, you could consider switching to podcasts or something to get away from the constant dopamine-machine that social media provides. It'll help your attention span too.

Still, it doesn't sound like you're a loser. Any changes you make should be made because you want to, not because you feel like you'd be a loser otherwise.

Put a time limit on your apps. 2 hours of YouTube per day and then no more type of limit. Make sure you have stuff to do so you can pivot off the phone. Then reduce the time but by bit.

It sucks but phone/tv addiction is real.

I think you are doing great

omg you’re gonna be quadlingual? and you made it through a diet?? you go!

I'll let you know once I figure it out.

leave the ml community it is a really unhealthy cult with a set of beliefs that can only harm you

Look back at what you've achieved and stop comparing to your future that hasn't arrived. You have achieved and are achieving so you are definitely not a loser. Keep setting goals and keep working towards them. Reward yourself as you attain them. Any self improvement time that takes you off of social media will help your outlook.

You're feeling like a loser because you are comparing yourself to standards that you will not satisfy

What I mean to say is society has created these bullshit standards for you to accomplish and they do not align with your goals, you will likely never compare yourself with the societal standard and be satisfied as a result

Think of who you want to be in the future and only have your goals and aspirations in mind

I play guitar and I can for sure tell you that within a year of practice you will be able to play a lot of pop guitar songs with ease, in fact that could be a goal to set and help you clear your mindset "I will start learning guitar and in one year I will aim to be able to play easy pop songs I like"

Notice that this goal is not related to societal standards, which extends to projections of you think people think of you

It sounds to me like you already are doing plenty of things or planning to, so I'll tell you something that was said to me by a therapist once:

It sounds like you're looking at your self worth conditionally. You need to do X, then you'll be Y. The thing is, that's a journey with no end. You'll always find something else you don't have if you think of yourself this way.

You need to work on unconditional self worth. How can you give yourself grace on the days when you just sit around and watch YouTube videos? Are you really worthless if you never learn an instrument?

This may not vibe with you, but one technique I've been told is to think of your child self. Imagine this little girl or boy you used to be standing in front of you. They feel horrible because they haven't done this or that. Would you chastise them for it? Or would you pick them up and give them a hug? They're trying, and that's what matters, even if they don't get exactly where they want in the end.

So to sum it up, your self worth is conditional, and you need to find ways to treat yourself well more unconditionally. The more you can do that, the more confident you'll feel, regardless of what else is happening in life.

Best of luck with this. I have struggled with similar things and still do sometimes. It takes work to change your thinking, and it won't be linear gains.

First of all: you're not a loser.
I want that out of the way, because it's an unhealthy and unproductive way of thinking.

Could you be a better version of yourself?
Yes. But so could everybody else in the entire world, and it is what the people you envy/look up to work towards every day.
The thing is that very few people are good at everything. Most are good at a few, and we humans tend to want to excell at things and compare ourselves to the people we know who are better than us.

You probably, and very normally I might add, compare yourself to Mike on guitar, John on physical form, Jessica on career and Brian on maturity, and then feel down. The problem is, that they are better at these things than you are, but not everything else.

So since you asked for it, I'll give you my advice: Stop comparing yourself to the peak of others, and try turning it into admiration for what they have achieved. And let them know they inspire you!
Then start focusing on one thing: being at least as good as yourself yesterday/last week/last month.

You know more, are more mature, lost weight (congrats!), so you're gaining points by just existing.
And force yourself to do stuff. Go swim again. Alone if you must. Go see a movie alone. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable.

Right now you are your worst enemy, while you should be your own biggest fan. That comes from confidence and experience in pushing yourself to actually live life.

And let yourself have days where you watch Youtube. That doesn't make you a failure. It makes you human.

Good luck!

I try to have one athletic/health, one artistic, and one academic thing going. Some things I get bored with and replace pretty quickly, some last a really long time.

Gym with weights is boring? Cool, tried it, not for you, go find some other physical thing to try. Give it a go, keep at it or try yet another new thing.

I sometimes say my hobby is trying hobbies. I go into group classes and clubs with that mindset. It helped me to stop feeling like a newbie loser not as proficient as the people around me, because I'm literally there to be new. People know me for that character trait. And someday soon I will be new at another thing, and another, and another.

And I don't wait to do new things with friends. It's a 1000-year event, getting schedules to align across several busy adults.

Do things with people, whether it's volunteering, a social group, whatever. Very few of us are happy without at least some social interaction, and sense of community.

Maybe for you that means to speak the languages you're learning with other people, or join a discussion group for a topic you're studying. But having the things you do personally anchored in a shared social reality adds a human element that studying more things and doing independent things that are academically good for you just can't.

I have accomplished some cool stuff, like i just recently got out of morbid obesity by following a diet, i got my English C1 certification and i’m learning Spanish and Mandarin with surprisingly good results. I have been studying stuff i’m interested in, mainly politics, philosophy, and most recently I’m getting more into maths and physics.

Holy shit that's awesome! You have lots of accomplishments to talk about :)

It's not boasting to be proud of your work and talk about it. It's OK to talk about yourself.

I suggest joining a club, going to events, or volunteer orgs as said in other comments. Examples: trail maintenance, rock climbing, hiking, sports, dance, improv, anything you're interested in already, think might be fun, or even seems adjacent to your interest but challenging. MAKE THE EFFORT AND GO OUT OF YOUR WAY FOR IT!

Try to be honestly interested in new people you meet. My favorite question is "Who are you?" because it forces them to think and it tends to build interest on asking the question in return.

We feel less like a loser when we make social connections with people we admire. Then when they want to hang out or talk it shows us that others see our value. You have to accept your circumstances, change what you want and are able to, and be vulnerable with others.

The hardest part it’s starting. You can do it but you have to do it. Nobody here will be able to help you more, I guess

Sorry you’re feeling this way. Something almost everybody struggles with is comparing yourself to others. I’d think about how past you might feel about you today after health and educational goals. Nice job! You should be proud of yourself.

Next, think about what makes somebody a loser and if you were evaluating somebody else in your exact same position would you think they’re a loser? There are two pieces here:

1. If you don’t think they’re a loser, why do you think you are?
2. Who are you or anybody else to judge who is a loser?

Lastly, there is no reason why you should not be setting goals for yourself for the things that you feel you are falling behind on (e.g. learning an instrument), but ask yourself why you haven’t taken your friend up on their offer to borrow the guitar? Is it because you really don’t want to play guitar and just think it’s something non-losers do? Maybe something else or a bit of both.

A. You’re not a loser
B. Don’t compare yourself to others
C. If you want to do something, do it, and if you don’t stick with it, figure out why not.

Good luck! You’re a rockstar!

I mean im a lot like you but also bad at language. Everyone I think feels at some point that what they do is nothing special and there are all sorts of things they should be doing. Personally I get kinda annoyed with what I feel is bs that the modern world sorta dumps on us. I very much enjoy just being and as I get older I more and more want to just do that. What I feel like at the moment. Unfortunately responsibilities and crap.

Option 1: Become a full on loser so you no longer have to feel 'like' a loser...

Option 2: Acknowledge that you've already proven that you're not a loser. Do your music because you find it is something that you enjoy and gives you something you crave, not because you need to be good enough to do concerts and get somebody's praise. Set your own goals and define your own victory conditions. It sounds like you have some unhappiness now and maybe even a touch of depression and you don't like it. Give yourself permission to try new things without expectation and grace to change again if it doesn't float your boat. You know you don't like you have, so you really don't have anything to lose. Don't let anyone else ever define your identity. Best wishes.