I often feel like a loser. I don’t do any sports, but i’ve been wanting to get back into swimming since i used to do it as a kid and i kind of miss it, i don’t play any instruments, and there are days once every two or three weeks where i’m just home all day. I am addicted to my phone, or rather addicted to YouTube, i am watching YT videos most of my day, not even watching but often just leave them in the background and go on with my day. I have accomplished some cool stuff, like i just recently got out of morbid obesity by following a diet, i got my English C1 certification and i’m learning Spanish and Mandarin with surprisingly good results. I have been studying stuff i’m interested in, mainly politics, philosophy, and most recently I’m getting more into maths and physics. However, even tho i did achieve those things, i feel like i should do more.
I have always envied people that play instruments but never got around to do it myself (one friend of mine proposed to borrow me his old guitar, i might accept), i don’t workout currently because for the past 2 years i got a gym membership but didn’t care enough to show up consistently because it’s just boring to me, i’d like to go out more but many of my friends are always busy or just out of reach, and i live a bit far from the city so i can’t just “take a walk”, because i’d have nowhere to go and for a big portion of the road near my house there is no sidewalks at all.
I feel like i’m just making up excuses, but idk, do you know how i can stop feeling that way?
First of all: you're not a loser.
I want that out of the way, because it's an unhealthy and unproductive way of thinking.
Could you be a better version of yourself?
Yes. But so could everybody else in the entire world, and it is what the people you envy/look up to work towards every day.
The thing is that very few people are good at everything. Most are good at a few, and we humans tend to want to excell at things and compare ourselves to the people we know who are better than us.
You probably, and very normally I might add, compare yourself to Mike on guitar, John on physical form, Jessica on career and Brian on maturity, and then feel down. The problem is, that they are better at these things than you are, but not everything else.
So since you asked for it, I'll give you my advice: Stop comparing yourself to the peak of others, and try turning it into admiration for what they have achieved. And let them know they inspire you!
Then start focusing on one thing: being at least as good as yourself yesterday/last week/last month.
You know more, are more mature, lost weight (congrats!), so you're gaining points by just existing.
And force yourself to do stuff. Go swim again. Alone if you must. Go see a movie alone. Get comfortable in the uncomfortable.
Right now you are your worst enemy, while you should be your own biggest fan. That comes from confidence and experience in pushing yourself to actually live life.
And let yourself have days where you watch Youtube. That doesn't make you a failure. It makes you human.
Good luck!
Thanks, this made me feel better :)
Glad to help.
Now don’t let it be a 5 minute high but use it to improve your situation.
If you ever need anything, you know where to find me.
You got this!