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this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2026
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childfree
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This is hate posting and I hate it.
Children and Parents are just people. Nothing more or less.
Objectifying them as caregivers is bad.
Correct. And yet literally the first line of argument employed on people who don't want to have kids is "who will care for you when you're old and frail?", as if kids are some sort of investment you can cash in on after you've retired
But that’s not the post. “Alone” is not opposed to “cared for by his kid” but to “visited by his kid”.
If and when I’ll need care, I’ll hope to have a professional but also my family and friends coming for visits. I don’t think that’s a weird sentiment. I would definitely help care for my parents and visit often but I’d never take on the full physical care for them.
It is, though. A lot of people (especially where the OOP and I come from) expect that their kids will either care for them directly in old age by moving them into their house, or fully pay for their professional care, or help pay for their care at the very least. Even "coming for visits" doesn't really qualify as the opposite of alone.
I get what you’re saying and agree that children should not be obligated to take care of their aging parents, but I have to agree with the other comment that the post is more about loneliness and your children going no-contact with you, not necessarily them taking care of you.
I live half the world away from my parents, so I literally can’t physically help them with anything. I also don’t send money or help them financially because they were smart enough to save for retirement and never expected their kids to help them. But I keep in touch with them and chat over Signal every couple of months or so.
Is that really something people say?
Its not so much about being physically cared for, but just having some connection to someone.
Plenty of lonely old people around.
That's not a thing. Not round here, anyway.
I’ve heard it, multiple times from different people. The two most common I’ve heard are “Who will take care of you when you’re old?” or “Real women all want to have children”
The two things that amaze me most on social media are people believing they know "the real story" based on absolutely minimal information, and that those stories overwhelmingly judge and demonize someone.
Don't leave out the cultural component! My Filipino wife is still sending money back home to her youngest, an adult. If we move there when we retire, I'd be shocked if those 4 boys didn't come together and take care of her. There's something of a social contract in some societies. YMMV.
destructdisc turned this community into a cesspool. no original content at all, just flooding with social media hate regurgitation.
You're more than welcome to contribute original content and I'm more than happy to engage with it in good faith.
There is nothing that destructdisc has posted that is outright hateful. I may not agree with everything posted, but it hasn’t been hateful.
And I’ve absolutely heard “who will take care of you when you’re old” from people when I say I don’t want to have children. Multiple times from multiple people. This is not a hate post, this actually happens to real people.
True. I guess it is actually at a point where one should start a talk on how to improve the situation. Who is their instance's admin?