It's so small! [CW: bottom dysphoria-inducing] (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 5 days ago by QueenMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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So, one of the effects of HRT (T suppression, really) is genital atrophy. People say "use it or lose it" and it's generally true, though even with using it, you can still lose a couple of inches. For some, this is a welcome change while others don't appreciate this effect.

I'll be honest, some people would have said I was "lucky" or "blessed". I would not, and in fact, I'd say I'm pretty fucking cursed. Without going into too much detail, I was definitely above average, which for me was not a positive.

However, as my T has been basically zero for more than 8 months now, atrophy has definitely had an effect. And, as much as I hate that part of myself (so much that I'm going for SRS), atrophy has done a number on it. It is now significantly smaller and I fucking love it.

For the first time in forever, I just caught a glimpse in the mirror and literally went "Omg, it's so small! How cute". I still hate it, I do not think it's cute in the slightest, however I'm really fucking grateful for atrophy. It's much less striking in the eyes now and that's a big positive for me personally. So, once again, thank you HRT, you're saving my life in real time ♥️

That is all. Wishing you all a nice day 🩷

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[-] QueenMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 5 days ago

These are all great tips, especially the skin stuff. Thank you 💜

I'll be brutally honest with you...I'm absolutely destroying my body, every single day. I don't sleep enough, I take so much kratom daily, on top of cypro, which is horrible for my liver. I vape ofc (hard to not when living with someone who does, but not trying to justify it), I don't get enough exercise...I'm kinda happy tho. I feel like the drugs are keeping me alive. Without them, my mental state is horrible and I feel like I'm going to do something very silly, with permanent consequences. I hate myself and while this is slowly destroying me, at least it makes myself not end my life right away. I'm honestly just a horrible person altogether.

I don't take care of my skin. I rarely wash my face in the morning, I don't cleanse or moisturize. I don't take care of myself and it's gonna catch up to me really soon. I'm a mess of a person, no wonder HRT is doing so little for me when I'm actively destroying myself.

Sorry for that. I just needed to get it out, how bad of a human I am.
Thank you and have a nice day ❤️

[-] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 4 days ago

Uh, none of that makes you a horrible person, that makes you a suffering person with poor executive function, living in a toxic environment.

You don't need to wash your face every morning.. everybody's skin is different and responds to different things in different ways. Not wearing sunscreen and being in the sun is worse than not washing your face. And smoking and vaping is worse than that.

Honestly, the human body is very durable. All of this is only cumulative. If you stop now, or work towards stopping, future-you will appreciate it.

I suggest a change of scenery.

this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2026

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