view the rest of the comments
196
Community Rules
You must post before you leave
Be nice. Assume others have good intent (within reason).
Block or ignore posts, comments, and users that irritate you in some way rather than engaging. Report if they are actually breaking community rules.
Use content warnings and/or mark as NSFW when appropriate. Most posts with content warnings likely need to be marked NSFW.
Most 196 posts are memes, shitposts, cute images, or even just recent things that happened, etc. There is no real theme, but try to avoid posts that are very inflammatory, offensive, very low quality, or very "off topic".
Bigotry is not allowed, this includes (but is not limited to): Homophobia, Transphobia, Racism, Sexism, Abelism, Classism, or discrimination based on things like Ethnicity, Nationality, Language, or Religion.
Avoid shilling for corporations, posting advertisements, or promoting exploitation of workers.
Proselytization, support, or defense of authoritarianism is not welcome. This includes but is not limited to: imperialism, nationalism, genocide denial, ethnic or racial supremacy, fascism, Nazism, Marxism-Leninism, Maoism, etc.
Avoid AI generated content.
Avoid misinformation.
Avoid incomprehensible posts.
No threats or personal attacks.
No spam.
Moderator Guidelines
Moderator Guidelines
- Don’t be mean to users. Be gentle or neutral.
- Most moderator actions which have a modlog message should include your username.
- When in doubt about whether or not a user is problematic, send them a DM.
- Don’t waste time debating/arguing with problematic users.
- Assume the best, but don’t tolerate sealioning/just asking questions/concern trolling.
- Ask another mod to take over cases you struggle with, if you get tired, or when things get personal.
- Ask the other mods for advice when things get complicated.
- Share everything you do in the mod matrix, both so several mods aren't unknowingly handling the same issues, but also so you can receive feedback on what you intend to do.
- Don't rush mod actions. If a case doesn't need to be handled right away, consider taking a short break before getting to it. This is to say, cool down and make room for feedback.
- Don’t perform too much moderation in the comments, except if you want a verdict to be public or to ask people to dial a convo down/stop. Single comment warnings are okay.
- Send users concise DMs about verdicts about them, such as bans etc, except in cases where it is clear we don’t want them at all, such as obvious transphobes. No need to notify someone they haven’t been banned of course.
- Explain to a user why their behavior is problematic and how it is distressing others rather than engage with whatever they are saying. Ask them to avoid this in the future and send them packing if they do not comply.
- First warn users, then temp ban them, then finally perma ban them when they break the rules or act inappropriately. Skip steps if necessary.
- Use neutral statements like “this statement can be considered transphobic” rather than “you are being transphobic”.
- No large decisions or actions without community input (polls or meta posts f.ex.).
- Large internal decisions (such as ousting a mod) might require a vote, needing more than 50% of the votes to pass. Also consider asking the community for feedback.
- Remember you are a voluntary moderator. You don’t get paid. Take a break when you need one. Perhaps ask another moderator to step in if necessary.
This is just my experience, but I was bullied intensely as a kid and also kept being called ugly by my mother throughout my entire childhood.
After spending my life hating myself, being convinced I'd die alone and convincing myself that I'm utterly unlovable, all I can say is:
Yes
It's hard to describe and also this is just my experience. Also, TMI.
TMI, NSFW-ish
I spent most of my life honestly believing that I was an ugly, worthless piece of trash, that I'd die alone and a virgin. The bullying was part of the reason, my mother as well. Dad moved out when I was 10, so it was just me and her and my brother. My self-image has never been very good. Something changed in me at around 15 tho.For the first time ever, I hooked up with a guy. Today I know that he hates me for who I am, but at the time I felt...just good about myself for once. I learned that men's attention could be intensely rewarding, which kinda started a ridiculous and endless hunt for it and, long story short, a few years later, that's exactly how I met my bf. By posting pictures on Reddit for men's attention, seeking their validation, talking to them, meeting up with them and even sleeping with one of them and then eventually meeting the right one, my current bf.
Even today, feeling desired or noticed by men feels amazing to me. There's nothing quite like it. Not even mentioning being touched by them and feeling "used" and "owned" by them.
I know this is unhealthy, but I don't care. It just kinda feels right.
Also, in my case, this applies to men only, since that's who I'm attracted to.
Do I recommend it? Fuck no.
Did it make me feel good at the time? Oh hell yeah.
No idea if that answers your question, lol
Correct, but only because I'm already in a relationship. If I were single, it'd definitely trigger something in me 😂
Honestly, it's not just him, it's cock in general. But I'm just weird, so yeah...
I'm getting mixed signals over here 😭 /s
I'm really sorry you had such difficult childhood and bad mother. Kids are the worst and can be so cruel for no reason, it's awful.
Also, I'm sorry my questions must have touch very sensitive memories, thank you for being open and I hope it wasn't too painful. Thank you for broadening my understanding and perspective on the human condition. I hope you were able to deal with your trauma with a professional and that it's not too much of a burden on you life.
I'm also sorry for the lack of clarity in my sentences. What I wanted to say is that everyone is unique/weird so really no one is weird. You should be able to like what you want without any guilt as long as it's not hurting anyone else (except if they want to be hurt of course 😈).
I really hope you are in a sane relationship with your boyfriend and not just dependent on it. I hope he treats you with respect and genuine love as you absolutely deserve it. You are worth it, no doubt in my mind. I wish you and your boyfriend the best. I wish I could give you a big hug right now 🫂 (here's a coupon for a free hug from your boyfriend in my place 💝)
It's fine, don't worry! I don't mind at all, and if my comment helped, that's what I care about ❤️
And yeah, my relationship is great. We're quite active (lol) and things are going well. I already claimed my hug coupon (and more, much more!).
Thank you, best of luck to you too 💜
Damn. That's fucked up. It's not your fault you "failed" to be a handsome boy. I'm glad you're on better terms now.