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Who do you want to be? and how close are you to becoming that person?
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2026
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I am, by nature, a naive and eager person. I am also on the autism spectrum
I have spent my entire life trying to feel included, trying to see the best in people and yearning for friends and good times
I've used my weird sense of humor, my hyper spirit, and my childlike energy, at about as late as the age of 23, to try to amuse others. And for a bit maybe I did
But now, I wish to be different. I wish to be reserved, more brooding for a change. I wish I could be less chipper and SpongeBobesque, because it's done nothing but embarrass or hurt me
I'm turning 25 now, growing out my first beard. It's been a couple of years since I abruptly stopped acting that way. Life feels dull now, but I still feel like if I can just prove to the world that I'm not weak and childlike, then maybe I can win in some small way
Reads very similar to me. I'm mid 30s and still a kid, dont really care what others think, I'm not gonna be a boring ass adult. Lost a lot of friends due to them bring boring as shit and ignoring me. Not a big deal, I make more friends.
(Note that this doesnt mean being irresponsible and immature. I mean not giving in to having a TV in my bedroom so I can watch football and the news all day after work then sleep, and never do anything else. No thanks. )
I also can't grow a beard lol.
You do you but dont change yourself because you think its wrong. Unless that makes you happy.
I'll never be a football guy that's for sure. But yeah I'm still trying to figure myself out. Nothing wrong with eccentric maturity I suppose. Still be a silly little shit but don't overdo it?
People also used to make fun of me for being goofy and autistic, still do, and I don't really give a shit now.
Like I said you be you, maybe if you feel like changing it up see how you like it but dont force yourself to be a dark brooding person if thats not you at all. Just my opinion
You'll discover in the years ahead that the secret is not caring what the world thinks. You don't need to prove to the world anything. You can find yourself, decide what values are important to you, and then live your live according to your definition of whats right. When people say "be true to yourself" this is what they're talking about.
There's a step beyond this too. When you know whats important to you, you make a real evaluation of who you are and what you do. You decide if your actions and behaviors match your values. If not, you work to make improvements in yourself. You do it because its important to you and not someone else. Improvements like these can be difficult adopt. You don't have to do it all overnight. Some improvements aren't a one-and-done but rather a way of living. I'm positive I'll go to my grave continuing to try to be a better version of myself, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Each day take the action that, at the end of each day, makes you proud of yourself. The race is long, but only ever against the old version of yourself.