747
At least let me sit
(lemmy.nz)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2026
747 points (99.2% liked)
Programmer Humor
34135 readers
2088 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
- If the mod doesn't find it funny, you're banned. Ha-ha!... For real: do not use the community for "statements". There are other places for such content. Keep it chill and funny.
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
Bro, if its required that I have you fix my computer especially if its because of your department you can stand
Or you can get your fat ass up. It is almost always PEBKAC. You aren't working and I am trying to. Go take a shit or smoke or gab in someone else's office.
I will track you down when it is fixed or I need to show you what you are doing wrong.
Especially annoying with laptop users.
Look, I am a tall guy, and your desk is so damn low I could use it as a urinal.
Just get out of the chair so I don't have to strain my back and eyes to figure out why you can't use your computer.
If you come at me with that energy, I will grab an intern and have them waste your entire afternoon while they google how to fix something I could have done in two minutes had you just gone into the break room and grabbed coffee or some shit.
I get paid the same whether working on my computer or not, shit take it for as long as you think can.
You're still not sitting at my desk
I'll bet you have no idea why people dont like you huh?
I don't care if people like me, and if your distaste for me prevents you from talking to me its all the better
And if everyone's distaste for being around you leads to bad quarterlies from your manager, bad peer reviews from your colleagues, your IT tickets being mysteriously deleted so they don't have to deal with you, your team filing reports with HR for harassment, and no one liking you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt, you can take that rudeness into the interview process at a new company and see how far it gets you with their HR.
I fought this battle with the computer mechanics for 25 years, I always win, I will always win.
If my tickets get deleted my boss will ensure they magically appear and are serviced, you can try HR for harassment but since there's none its all good. I don't need benefit of the doubt with anyone other than my boss, and my inherent rudeness and lack of empathy are why I generally get promoted.
Computer mechanics? Fucking what?
Goddamn, Karen, what other than a fan is mechanical?
I have been in IT for 25 years. I think I would be your fucking nightmare, to be frank.
Your shit would just never work, and your projects would never meet deadlines, and I wouldn't leave a trace.
If you are rude, there's harassment. Anything that makes your coworkers feel uncomfortable qualifies. You are riding on their desire to avoid conflict. If anyone who has half your willingness to engage in conflict arrives in your office, you will be gone the moment HR hears the word attorney because they don't have your boss to answer to, they work on behalf of the company as a whole to prevent lawsuits. The company may reward you for being callous, but they'll do the same to those above you, who will drop you like a sack of dog droppings the moment you become inconvenient for the company, hire someone cheaper, and pocket a bonus for shrinking the budget.
I'm guessing you are enough of an asshole you won't change your behaviour, even after they fire you. You'll just be that guy, neck deep in his cups, complaining about these snowflakes who 'can't stand not being coddled,' (read, aren't willing to put up with your BS) and 'got you fired.' You're a loser. It just hasn't hit you yet.
Please prove harassament, that would get me all hard. I love conflict I'll denegrate you, your mom, your sister, and your dad. If that doesn't worrk I'll turn to you and your SO.
Please bitch.....bring it
Keep telling yourself that.
I will
I've thought about it, please detest me it gives me life
And your shit ain't getting fixed.
You have to justify your job. Good luck.
I could sit at your desk from my desk. Just stop being a pointless prick. You aren't that important.
I get paid just the same
Not if you aren't getting work done, you numbnut. Do you think you are the only node I am tending to?
Seriously, I have witnessed people let go because of this behavior.
You aren't going to get paid when you are fired with legitimate reason.
I don't know where you work, but everyone gets out of their seat when I request it.
I report to the CEO. You and I would never ever fly. Again, I would send over the biggest newbie I could think of, and you would fall behind on your projects.
And at the weekly Monday meeting, I would have email and even video showing your malfeasance and obstruction. (you do realize we run the camera system, right? And the cameras capture audio, right? And my NVRs store 30 days of video and audio, right? No? Well, yes, that is how I designed it when I built it.)
Oh, for everyone to see. All departments.
I can put it on the conference room TV, with ease, as I was the one that designed that system to begin with.
Yeah, you and I wouldn't fly. I mean, I guess you would, right out the fucking door.