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[Vent] I hate how many cis "allies" clearly don't actually see trans people as their gender. (piefed.blahaj.zone)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) by cass1312@piefed.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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I saw a post earlier (not on the fediverse), about a trans woman who had a date with a cis man who was pretty clearly into her, fliriting and stuff, but then as soon as she told him she was trans the guy immediately acted different, said he wasn't into her and just wanted to be friends, etc. The poster was obviously upset by that and was trying to vent about it online in a women's community who claim to be trans inclusive, but so many of the replies were about how he wasn't transphobic, how he was such a good guy for giving her the bare minimum respect after learning she was trans, how its not transphobic to not be attracted to trans people, etc. That's also not even what the poster was saying, she just wanted support after a shitty date, something which the community is perfectly capable of doing when a cis woman is seeking it.

But also like the guy was attracted to her! He just immediately changed his mind upon learning she was trans, which is literally just transphobia, holy shit. And almost all the supportive people in the comments or anyone saying that were getting piled on.

I already know the majority of cis people don't see us as actually being our gender/sex, but it still fucking sucks everytime I see something like that that reminds me of that fact so starkly.

Edit: The number of cis people coming in to this thread and doing the exact same fucking thing I'm complaning about in this post is wild holy shit. Like congrats on not having any ability to read the room l guess lmao.

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[-] cass1312@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 day ago

It wasn't the guy as much as all the replies from a bunch of cis women, tons of who were self-described "allies". They're the ones who really annoyed me, since they were minimizing what the guy did or trying to justify it because "it's not transphobic to not want to date a trans woman", or "maybe he wants kids", etc

[-] crazyminner@lemmy.ml 4 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

Yeah that's annoying and concerning. If someone is attracted to a trans woman and isn't interested after they finds out she's trans for that reason then yeah its transphobic. And also I know tons of trans people that want kids. Plenty of trans people can still have kids and even if they can't you could always adopt if you wanted to make it work.

[-] strawberry_enjoyer42@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 19 hours ago

The problem with that is that cis people are weirdly obsessed with having "biological children", which is absurd to me.

[-] crazyminner@lemmy.ml 2 points 19 hours ago

Some trans people can still have biological children.

this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2026
59 points (91.5% liked)

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