It's okay to have dating preferences, but it can be really isolating when you're in that preferential minority. I think we have to be careful with expressing that in spaces that include cis folks, because it can absolutely fester into transphobia, but it's basically understandable to be discouraged about stuff like this. Overall, I wish there was more leeway and empathy toward trans people who express they're lonely without defensive cis people interpreting that as "trans people insist that you must be attracted to them or you're a transphobe" (which most of us aren't saying), but we're definitely not there yet. And while acknowledging that, maybe we do need to have thicker skin when some trans allies aren't attracted to us. Beauty's in the eye of the beholder, and there's someone for everyone.

Another example I think is more apt is a Pew Research study I saw a while back that said majorities of liberals acknowledged trans people were a marginalized group, and majorities also acknowledged that we should have more rights, yet most of the same people in that category believed that gender is determined by sex at birth. And I guess it's up for debate on the degree to which those people are genuinely allies. (Edit: Source!)

I think a lot of this stuff is generational and once social acceptance increases to the point where more people transition younger on average, and also once young cis people are brought up in that era of social acceptance and positive exposure, we'll see more genuine acceptance that trans people are their gender identity, but only future generations may benefit. But just because most these days don't see trans people as their identified gender, there are definitely the wonderful ones who do, and maybe we should be screening for those people instead of fixating on the ones who aren't interested.

Its impossible for people to just be supportive of someone having a bad time if they have OPINIONS about the situation at hand. Like a vein about to burst if they don't get a chance to lay out their exact beliefs in fine detail.

Its ok to be like "fuck that BS girl his loss" and leave it there.

He didn’t see her as a woman, he saw her as a woman* and all his attention went to that asterisk.

Most people are really weird about sex even if they’re open and supportive of others.

He’s wrapped up in all those views passed onto him by a shitty society instead of just having the time of his life.

I hope we create a society where people like him live in regret about how weird they could’ve gotten and all the fun they missed. Til then, I prefer that she’s safe from transphobic regret which our society lets people get away with hurting us.

I hope this doesn’t come off as argumentative, as that is not how it’s meant, but the way I see it, it wasn’t that he didn’t like her, or was transphobic, it’s just that he has preferences. This isn’t a crime. We all have preferences. Be they height, weight, cultural, tradition, what-have-you… this doesn’t make us anti-things outside of our prefered choices.

For example: I like pumpkins. Love them as decorations, I think they’re pretty, I know they’re heathy as a food and good for nature, however… I don’t like to eat them at all. I don’t like the texture of pumpkin pie, I don’t like the flavor at all. It’s just not to my taste.

Am I anti-pumpkin? Not even in the slightest.

The point is, from what you said, he was kind to her, and wasn’t offended or being offensive TO her, he just wasn’t into her situation at all.

Maybe this helps to understand it better?

Again, absolutely no offense intended.

Maybe he's not into gock and assumed she had one? Really him being into her shouldn't have changed until they talked about bed stuff, not right when she mentioned she trans, cause he doesn't know what's between her legs. If not that then the only thing I could think of is transphobia. Could also just be assumptions and ignorance.

Plus being into a trans girl doesn't automatically make you not a transphobe. Did the guy say he was an "Ally"? He might not have been.