this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 25 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Watching my Dad decline in his later years was really tough, the man I had known my entire life just fell apart month by month, week by week until he was just a shell of a person. I don't know when it happened, but the person I had known my whole life had already died before his body died later on. Seeing what I saw over the course of years as he declined, I would've completely understood if he had committed suicide well before. It would've been shocking and hard to take, but if he realized what was happening, felt himself slipping away, I wonder if he hadn't at least considered it. He retired a year before he died at 63 and never really got to enjoy his retirement.

[–] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The capitalists tortured your father out of your father month by month, week by week, until only a shell, no longer productive, was cut loose to die as it was no longer useful to them.

That is what the capitalists do to us while they live large and pat themselves on the back for it.

[–] agitatedpotato@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Saw this happen to my both my grandfathers, one died around 60 and the other around 80. Even the 60yo one, watching the mental decline was heartbreaking. Being left with literally nothing, losing your memories while you lose control of other parts of your body, these men were long gone long before they passed. Nothing in this world scares me like aging with dimentia does. You literally lose the person, sometimes completely, before they even die and you gotta sit there and be strong for them knowing that the slow desent will come for you too, and thats only if you're lucky enough to get that old. It's just not fair for anyone and there's scarcely any dignity in death.

[–] MaxVoltage@lemmy.world -2 points 11 months ago

that is not normal old age stuff mate that sounds like cancer

[–] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemm.ee 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I feel myself heading this way. So much of my identity is wrapped up in what I can do and service I can provide. When my body fails, and it's starting to slow down even now, what will my identity be?

[–] Zink@programming.dev 3 points 11 months ago

All I can suggest is to start decoupling your identity from your productivity or what you think you are expected to do. Figure out what really matters to you, and what you would regret doing or not doing when you’re elderly.

I’ve gone through a bunch of crap in the past few years, and part of getting back to normal life has been letting go of things that don’t really matter to me (anxiety doesn’t always make this easy, of course) and figuring out what matters most and how I can best enjoy this weird temporary thing we call life.

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

It will be what you make it. In retirement, my great aunt and uncle ran the ethnic dance scene for their city and volunteered. Even in a wheelchair you can teach and give your time to causes you find worthy!

[–] MaxVoltage@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

jesus at 63?? uhm that is not Normal old age man unless your 80 and that was in 45 or some such

[–] Godric@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

I'm sorry for your loss friend, the hardest thing in my life is watching my loved ones slip away before they're gone.