this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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Politics

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Donald Trump gave a rambling two-hour speech at a right-wing conference where he branded the U.S. a "third-world hellhole" under President Biden's leadership. He falsely claimed the 2020 election was rigged and investigations against him are an attempt to rig the 2024 election. He threatened to revoke funding from universities and pledged to revive the Muslim ban, mass deportations, and ending birthright citizenship. Several speakers at the conference made inflammatory claims about transgender people, calling transition healthcare "Mengele-like experimentation" and referring to trans people as "freaks" and "perverts.

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I imagine Donald's political calculation looked pretty much the same as every Republican doing this.

"Hey, we have an election coming up and contributing constructively to literally anything is too hard. Instead, who can we crucify to satisfy the bloodlust of our base. Who's good?"

"Hmmm, that's a tough one. After all, we're all just whiny little babies so we'd need someone who we can really all gang up on."

"Very true. Let's see...LGBTQ people?"

"Hah, good joke using the acronym, Donald. Your sarcasm is extremely funny!"

"I know, shut up. Also, stupid idea, assface. You see how many gay and lesbian people there are? Remember: I'm scared to even fire someone who literally is my employee to their face."

"Oh, well...what about the TQ part?"

"Well, I don't actually even know what that is. Trans? You mean chicks with dicks? Like that time I was in Russia with the-"

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, Dave Chappelle and the Harry Potter woman agree, and they are still making millions."

"Oh. Right. Sure, yeah, whatever. Just make sure I'm as loud and stupid as usual."

"Got it covered, boss."