I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (32M) for 5 years. He’s kind, supportive, and my best friend, but over time I’ve become exhausted by carrying almost all the responsibility in our relationship.

We’ve lived together for 4 years, and I do nearly everything around the house while also working full time. He helps, but usually only after repeated reminders. Most of his free time goes into gaming and relaxing, and I feel like once he became comfortable in the relationship, he stopped putting in effort.

I’ve tried communicating calmly, encouraging him, giving him space, and even spending 6 months abroad hoping he’d focus on personal growth. Very little changed.

The biggest crack in my trust happened when he went to Thailand for kitesurfing and met another girl. He admitted they flirted and danced together, and I later found messages where he asked to see her again while I was asleep. He claimed it wasn’t serious, but it hurt that he hid it from me.

To be fair, earlier in the relationship I also became emotionally attached to a coworker because I felt emotionally neglected. Nothing physical happened, and I told my boyfriend immediately.

The problem is that my boyfriend only changes when he thinks he might lose me. He improves temporarily, then falls back into the same behavior.

I love him deeply and can’t imagine life without him, but I’m also scared of building a future where I feel emotionally alone and responsible for everything.

I never liked dentists. Every time they call, all I can think is "what are they gonna find and how much is it going to cost this time?" I didn't always have insurance and dentists have always been a source of financial stress for me. So I never got my wisdom tooth removed.

Unfortunately lately I had issues with an old filling and waited too long to fix it because I had no job and no insurance at that time. So I had to remove that one. And while discussing this the dentist also suggested I should remove the bottom wisdom tooth because they were at risk of infection in the future. I agreed to remove the most pressing ones while I still didn't have a job nor insurance.

So when I got to the appointment they wanted to remove 5 teeth. The damaged one and all 4 wisdom teeth. I never recall discussing that but while being there... In the end they could only remove 3 + the damaged one, and I'll have to go back.

It cost nearly $2000 and I still haven't had my fist paycheck from my new job, from which I had to take two days off. And that cabinet knew I had no job nor insurance. I have given them several thousand dollars in the last months.

I feel ripped off, in all the senses. It's been 4 days and my face is still swelling. I had to sign a waiver and I sincerely regret it.

I should have held my ground and told them to remove only the one I considered urgent, and come back when I had a job and insurance, because they clearly don't care.

It will take me months to recover financially from this. It broke the confidence that I slowly built with this cabinet. It just seems to validate my hatred for dentists even more. They're not only extracting teeth, they are also extracting large amounts of money even though some can't pay that much.

I try to convince myself that it would have to be done eventually, but I lived with them without issues before; my friends still have them and they're not dead. I really feel cheated out of at least $1000 that I could have put on food, or rent!

I just looked at her. She started raising her voice and insisting she meant that the government should think about the amount of houses that can be built to accommodate all the newcomers.

I just looked at her - she got angry as I was looking at her, and she could see I was visibly intrigued I (which she saw as threatening). She raised her voice further and wondered why I'm looking at her like that. I mentioned "so you're blaming the government for letting too many people in". She got angry with me and said it "wasn't about blame". I didn't mention the whole "got mine" attitude.

Eventually she took her pillow, called me an arsehole who cares too much about racism and went to sleep with our mixed-race children.

Funnily enough, we'd just been watching "The Knick" and I had mentioned how many don't realise their privilege. This was how she responded. I'm concerned. I'm not saying she's racist, not at all. Just naive or blind and ignorant. Yet she got angry with me for "not accepting" racism.

I should mention she got angry at me recently for not liking the direction the UK was heading and really not wanting to visit because of it (both our families live there - mine are "brown" lol.

I think it proved my point about privilege but I didn't want it to end that way but she stormed off. So AITA?

Edit: Australia btw

I had a video call with my sister today. Thing is we often end up debating politics and usually see things differently. During these debates/convo, she always asks me to show sources for my claims and I would always search for reputable sources to back them up. Sometimes I even end up agreeing with her after a quick search. Other times I stand my ground.

The issue is that she never provides sources herself. She always says she keeps up with the news and knows what she's talking about. She also tells me not to debate with her if I don't know the exact timeline of events. When I ask her to show the source, she usually refuses or tells me to go find it myself, even though she is the one making the claim.

This has happened many times. In the past I've even found evidence that proved her wrong, and she admitted it. But the pattern never seems to change. If I doubt her claim, she expects me to go find the reference myself. But when she doubts my claim, she asks me for sources and I always provide them.

During today’s convo, I brought credible sources to support my point and we argued back and forth. Eventually the discussion became rather heated. We both tried to explain our points again, and after a while I realized we were actually on the same page. I think the misunderstanding probably came from how we articulated our thoughts. So I said it seemed like there was a miscommunication and that we were actually on the same page.

Instead of calming things down, that made things worse. She accused me of not listening to her, always questioning her, and never trusting what she says. I told her that was not true. There are parts where I agree with her, and sometimes I even change my mind after a quick fact check. I only ask for sources when our facts are different, especially since she was the one who originally insisted that I should bring references to support my points.

The argument kept going, so I tried to calm things down by saying the miscommunication was partly my fault (which I do think to some extent, but the apology was very halfhearted). I mainly said it to deescalate. I have a bad habit of apologizing just to end things when arguments get heated, and my sister really hates this. She always wants a genuine apology. She said my apology was fake and insisted that the problem was entirely my fault.

I insisted that we were both responsible for the misunderstanding. I also said that if she had listened to my explanation earlier, she might have realized that we actually agreed on some points. But she kept insisting that I never listen to her, always question her, and always doubt what she says. I told her that wasn't true and that I do listen to her. I agree with her on some points, have changed my mind after a quick search before, and only look for references when our facts are different (especially since she's the one who insisted I bring evidence in the first place).

What frustrates me the most is that she refuses to admit any fault and still expects me to do all the work of finding evidence.

At this point, I have decided that I will probably stop debating politics with her because nothing productive ever comes out of it.

So AITA for getting frustrated and pointing out the double standard about sources?

My (18NB) friend's (18M) parent recently came out as trans to my friend, and he shared that with me. He says his parent, until recently known as his dad, has come out to him as binary trans and wants to be seen as a woman. My friend doesn't feel comfortable with that, though, and calls them his 'mod' (rather than mum or dad) and uses gender neutral terms for them. He has also asked me to use the same terms but I'm worried I'm not properly respecting his parent by not using she/her and the like. AITA for prioritising my friend's comfort over his parent's?

I'm a 22m college student right now, and my little brother is in grade 9. For the past 5 days, our parents have been overseas, so my bro and I are staying at home, and just because I'm studying for the MCAT and really stressing out, I'm being helped in looking after my brother by our long time female family friend named Rina, who turned 44 this summer. I myself have known Rina since I was 5 years old, and I actually see her sexually. So does my little brother. Despite this, she seems to be totally unaware of our feelings towards her, and she openly tells us to consider her our "older sister". We like it because she's a very kind person, and she's really, really nice to both of us and to our family. She also always really casual with exposing her skin, and she doesn't seem to know the effect it has on my little brother lol.

Two nights ago, Rina invited her boyfriend over to our house, with our approval and my parents did give her permission to do this if she felt like it. I'm not sure if she was allowed to do this, but she helped herself to our alcohol, and got quite drunk while her boyfriend was the designated sober person. Whenever Rina gets drunk, she just gets utterly adorable, and I think it really pushed my brother to the edge. Because last night, in an effort to see her all cute and letting her guard down again, he spiked her drink with alcohol. She saw right through it, and it really freaked her out, even though it didn't do much harm to her (she stopped drinking immediately). She got my brother to fess up, and she didn't take it very well at all.

Today, I was at home, studying, when Rina walked in. I could tell she was trying to put up a brave face, and she told me that she was waiting for my brother to come home so that she could chat with him. When he did come home, however, she kinda froze up. She tried acting normal, and tried making us dinner, but she started freaking out and puked a lot. Her cooking is always amazing, and this was the only time my brother and I weren't comfortable with eating it....I just now walked in on my brother lying in his bed, crying, and I did my best to comfort him, and patted him on the head and managed to get him to calm down....

Am I doing this right? I have more than a week left until my parents come home.

AITA, on April 29th, I noticed a FB post from my BFF, it's theme was about "leaving a party early".

My BFF notoriously falls asleep early and drifts away from any gatherings at his house.

In the comments section, I posted a photo from about '92-'93, of him sleeping on a couch. I'm in the photo behind the couch. Two other friends are at each end of the couch. Either sitting on the armrest or leaning on it. No booze, drugs or anyone flipping the bird. IMO: very innocent photo.

A couple of days after my photo comment, he sent at least 3 text in rapid fire mode. Essentially "screaming" at me to delete that photo.

It took a brief moment to get onto FB and delete that photo. But, those texts all came in faster than I could take care of the situation.

Keep in mind, it's on HIS FB page, he had full control to delete the photo himself. Then, he could've "yelled" at me via text/phone call.

IMO: he owes me an apology for the way he "screamed" at me via text. We haven't said more than "Hey." at any group gatherings since the episode.

AITA?

I’m sorry, I know this title seems like bait.

I (18F) was harassed sexually(?), verbally, and bullied by a woman (19F). My younger sister finds her gorgeous and got mad at me for saying she was average and not that attractive. She also told me “I was just saying that because she was horrible to me.”

That is true, but she genuinely isn’t attractive to me. My friend and boyfriend find her ugly (specifically on the inside).

I don’t think she’s ugly, but I don’t find her pretty either. Ugly on the inside, average appearance-wise, but wears nice clothes and likes cute things.

I (F26) work with a lot of foreign coworkers at a landfill. We pick recycling off a conveyor belt and are expected to do a certian amount a minute, or "pick speed". Theirs are regularly low. Additionally, they had a habit of flushing paper towel and making a mess. This plugged the toilet, and the women's restroom has been locked. We need special permission to use it like gradeschool. That all being said, I've had issues with them for more petty reasons. They would demand I sweep some certian part of the plant at the end of the day instead of whetever I was, they have no actual authority. They rush me in the bathroom, knocking on the doors. They generally are difficult. I am autistic, so I don't deal with this well, and tend to yell. Every time, they make a point to all laugh in unison.

My boss's boss was talking about meetings before work today. The subject of pick speeds came up, as one of the foremen has to bring it up during the meeting again. I complained as the boss was out the door that they really should be talking to these foreign workers, who among the above, have low pick speeds, make excuses not to switch stations as we normally would, and so on. The boss's boss gets mad at me, tells me "Everyone deserves a chance to work here" and all but accuses me of racism. It's worth noting, my pick speeds are usually well above average. AITAH?

I recently got banned from a dating subreddit and discord for people over 30 and all the admins will say is that I made some people uncomfortable. I've been trying to figure out what I did that could have upset people and the one 2 things I can think of was one incident when somebody mentioned I should try dating another male member of the discord server since we had so much in comment and I jokingly explained that I could never date another man because I don't like the sight of my own genitals so I doubt I would want to see or touch another man's. That seemed to spark some controversy with some members because I brought up genitalia. I get that I probably could have said it in a classier way, but in a server for people over 30 looking to date, I would assume this wouldn't exactly be taboo or warrant a ban.

Hi All,

I have a savings account for purpose of which is to save up for "new teeth". My own teeth are all rammed full of fillings, the bottom row are not straight to say the least and two on the top row have irremovable stains and one needs a root canal. I hate my teeth so I would like a much more permanent solution to all my problems, I've also always had confidence issues about my smile. (I didn't look after my teeth well when I was young, but that's another story)

My aim is to save for all on four or all on six permanent dentures type thing. As a route to get decent looking teeth with no pain or infection problems. I have a savings account which I put in to every month to save for this and I think it will take another three or four years until I can afford them.

Last night, my girlfriend of about two years who is currently moving in asked how much I had saved in it. We are a little tight on money right now, I work full-time but she has been struggling to get more than 9 hours a week that she has to travel quite far for. I took her question as a bit of a threat quite frankly, that if she knew that I had a fair amount saved, then I might seem like a tight arse for not being more generous with money situations. She does know that I hate my teeth and that I want to save to get them fixed.

I said "none of your business" and I do now regret the tone that I used.

The next morning she was in tears saying things like she couldn't understand why I would keep a secret like that.

I have expressed to her that I regret seeming quite abrasive about what was possibly a fully innocent question on her part and explained that I thought personal savings were a private matter. I wouldn't ask her how much her savings were for example.

I now understand that some couples have full financial transparency with eachother. But I for some reason feel quite uncomfortable about that right now. I currently pay all the bills which is fine, I've been paying for everything myself for the last eight years or so and she does want to start contributing a bit which is great. I don't have any secret debts or anything like that to hide.

I know I could have handled the situation better but I'm wondering if I'm an arsehole for not telling her how much savings I have for a purpose of which I'm already considering as spent money?

edit: I am a man and the only man in this scenario

This happened some time ago. I was driving and stopped on a gas station. probably for coffee and had to go pee. I saw a long queue of around fifteen to twenty exclusively 30-something girls, definitely bit older than me. They probably were a sports team, since there was a hired couch bus waiting outside and they were mostly wearing sweats. There were separate stalls for men and women (one each), so I went for the men's room. It turned out locked, so I stood just outside it. One of the girls in the queue said that the back of the queue is "back there". I replied "sure, but I'm going to the men's room", understandably assuming they were queueing for the ladies room. To which she said "yeah but there's one queue for both". I am familiar with the concept of shared queues, but mostly from supermarkets or post office, where you would queue for several checkouts and just go to the first one that is free. Never encountered shared queues for gender-separated toilets, so I said "but the toilets are separate, I'm going to the men's room and you can queue for the ladies room" and simply went in without any more protest from them when the men's room emptied (and it was another girl in there).

Were I the asshole?

TL;DR: Some people who buy cigs from me expect me to remember their orders when I don't, and when they do it repeatedly I remember them because they're an asshole but I pretend that I don't. AITA?

I work at a gas station kiosk, and obviously I have a LOT of "regulars"... I remember a lot of them, but some people just walk up to my window and say something like "it's me again" and stare at me, as if I know who they are or what they want. A lot of them will do this repeatedly, and I end up remembering their order anyways because of how much of an asshole they are. That's when I pretend not to remember, even if it's the 100th time.

The newest one doesn't speak English, but this is the third time where this exact sequence played out:

He walks up to my window and says "one cigarette", to which I reply "which ones?" He says "lucky" so I grab regular Lucky Strikes, and he says "nonono" and points as if I can accurately judge what he's pointing to from that far away. After that doesn't work, he says "gold", so obviously I grab gold Lucky Strikes, and then he goes "no. no." again. He starts pointing again, and I still don't know what he's pointing at, so he makes a motion to indicate "the one to the right of that one." ...

He wants Lucky gold 100's, and at this point the only reason I remember his order is because he can't be fucked to remember how to say "hundreds". He'll say "lucky golds" after a lot of prying, so I don't think he should get a pass because of the language barrier.

This is the third time he's come up to my window and done this. I remember his cigarettes now, but next time I'm probably going to do the whole song and dance again. Me having your order before you get to the window is for people I remember, not for people who I remember because they can't be fucked to tell me what they want. AITA?

A year ago I was on a train from Italy to Germany, and I was assigned a seat in a cabin with 5 other people, kind of like the train from Harry Potter. I and almost everyone else in the cabin were using headphones to watch media, or reading a book. At one point, this middle aged lady pulls out her phone and starts watching something with the volume turned up, no headphones. I was going to ignore it if she only did it for a few minutes, but eventually like 10 minutes passed. So I unplugged my headphones, and started playing my movie at full volume and looked straight down at my phone. So now both of us were blasting some movie or tv show, while everyone else was getting annoyed. Eventually she turned off her sound, so I put my headphones back in. I realize I could have politely asked her, but as a foreign tourist who does not speak German or Italian, I assumed she wouldn't know English. AITAH?