I had a video call with my sister today. Thing is we often end up debating politics and usually see things differently. During these debates/convo, she always asks me to show sources for my claims and I would always search for reputable sources to back them up. Sometimes I even end up agreeing with her after a quick search. Other times I stand my ground.
The issue is that she never provides sources herself. She always says she keeps up with the news and knows what she's talking about. She also tells me not to debate with her if I don't know the exact timeline of events. When I ask her to show the source, she usually refuses or tells me to go find it myself, even though she is the one making the claim.
This has happened many times. In the past I've even found evidence that proved her wrong, and she admitted it. But the pattern never seems to change. If I doubt her claim, she expects me to go find the reference myself. But when she doubts my claim, she asks me for sources and I always provide them.
During today’s convo, I brought credible sources to support my point and we argued back and forth. Eventually the discussion became rather heated. We both tried to explain our points again, and after a while I realized we were actually on the same page. I think the misunderstanding probably came from how we articulated our thoughts. So I said it seemed like there was a miscommunication and that we were actually on the same page.
Instead of calming things down, that made things worse. She accused me of not listening to her, always questioning her, and never trusting what she says. I told her that was not true. There are parts where I agree with her, and sometimes I even change my mind after a quick fact check. I only ask for sources when our facts are different, especially since she was the one who originally insisted that I should bring references to support my points.
The argument kept going, so I tried to calm things down by saying the miscommunication was partly my fault (which I do think to some extent, but the apology was very halfhearted). I mainly said it to deescalate. I have a bad habit of apologizing just to end things when arguments get heated, and my sister really hates this. She always wants a genuine apology. She said my apology was fake and insisted that the problem was entirely my fault.
I insisted that we were both responsible for the misunderstanding. I also said that if she had listened to my explanation earlier, she might have realized that we actually agreed on some points. But she kept insisting that I never listen to her, always question her, and always doubt what she says. I told her that wasn't true and that I do listen to her. I agree with her on some points, have changed my mind after a quick search before, and only look for references when our facts are different (especially since she's the one who insisted I bring evidence in the first place).
What frustrates me the most is that she refuses to admit any fault and still expects me to do all the work of finding evidence.
At this point, I have decided that I will probably stop debating politics with her because nothing productive ever comes out of it.
So AITA for getting frustrated and pointing out the double standard about sources?