The gay bar in my city closed down during the pandemic, and then reopened a few months later under the same owner, but rebranded as an arcade bar. It's definitely still an overtly queer-friendly place; gender neutral bathrooms, drag shows, sex toy bingo nights, etc... but I definitely felt more people glaring at me after the switch. Cishet gamer dudes aren't as used to seeing AMAB people in dresses, I guess.

I still feel safe there, but I generally feel safe in most places where I live. I do miss having a place where my queerness didn't even merit a second thought.

[–] whiskeypickle@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

hmmm... maybe take the opportunity to both own the space and passively teach by just being you in that space. sometimes, just through normalization, one can have a much bigger influence.

[–] Evkob@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I definitely agree with that sentiment, and I do everything I can to normalize queerness in my surroundings. It's just, sometimes it's nice to have a space where you don't feel like you have to defend your right to exist, you know? And like I'm definitely at a point where I just don't care about cishet people's reactions to my existence, but not all queer people have reached that point, or even ever will.

[–] 114145@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago

Yea, safe spaces are important. Mixed spaces are great and valuable too, but safe spaces are invaluable parts of the journey for some of us as well.

load more comments