this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2024
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Unpopular Opinion

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Schools shouldn't be treated as these magical places where you're put in at some age and over a decade later you emerge a complete human being. You have parents and you spend more time at home than at school for a reason: you're supposed to learn from your parents.

A school can potentially give you a degree of financial literacy instruction. Your parents should be the ones paying your allowance money and driving you to the bank to get your first checking account. A school can teach you how to cook something. Your parents should be the ones eating your food and helping you cook it better. A school can show you some level of DIY. Your parents should directly benefit from teaching you how to fix the sink when it gets clogged. A school can tell you what kinds of careers exist. Your parents should love you enough to tell you that either your career ambitions or your financial expectations need to change. A school can tell you how to build a resume. Your parents should be the ones driving you to your job interview and to your job until you buy your first car. A school can give you a failing grade when you do poorly on a test. Your parents should be able to make you face the real, in-the-moment consequences of doing something wrong.

Expecting a school, public or private, to teach you everything you need to know is a grave mistake. You need people in your corner who are taking an active part in raising you all the way to adulthood and beyond. If you have kids yourself, that goes for them as well. If you aren't there for your children, to teach them the things that schools don't teach because they can't mass produce the lessons to nearly the same quality that you can give them, they'll blame you and the school for having failed them. And they'd be right to lay the blame at your feet.

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[–] Jajcus@sh.itjust.works 62 points 3 months ago (4 children)

And what if one has shitty parents?

[–] 5ibelius9insterberg@feddit.org 13 points 3 months ago (2 children)

And what if one is only able to visit a shitty school?

Your right though, one should have easy access to good education no matter what kind of home they are from.

[–] SomeoneSomewhere 22 points 3 months ago

Public policy can/should fix shitty schools. You 'just' need funding, staffing, and leadership, plus to some extent a willingness to ride roughshod over parents who willingly avoid teaching e.g. science, sex ed.

Public policy can only do so much about shitty parents.

[–] Scipitie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 3 months ago

Schools are a societies responsibility though. So I can try to create better schools for all while trying to create better parents... Oh wait I'll taggle that with better social support systems and educations for future parents as well!

Good schools rock!

[–] anonymouse2@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

I think a better question is, for those who have shitty parents, should it be a school's responsibility to fill in the gap, or should there be other social programs made available so that there isn't an undue burden placed on teachers and school administrators?

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 6 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I mean the reverse also applies. What if one has a shitty school?

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In my opinion every school should receive top funding regardless of neighbourhood to make differences negligible.

[–] bizarroland@fedia.io 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Dude, in a non-gender-specific way of course, I am fortunate enough to be a homeowner and such a huge percentage of my taxes go towards the schools in my area and they are still very poorly rated.

I don't even have children, and I don't think that that should grant me special exemptions because I want to live in a world with educated people so I pay my taxes to contribute towards that, but I'm literally paying $1,000 a year for the schools in my area to have money and they still suck.

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[–] NoTagBacks@lemm.ee 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

No, it's really not the same thing. You can legislate better schools with a variety of methods, the main point being that you're regulating government jobs(to oversimplify). You're more limited to negative legislation for parents, such as punishing child abuse. I guess you could technically legislate certain mandates for parents to be better parents, but like, good luck passing said legislation. And even if you do(and this is the big boi), how the fuck do you enforce that??? And on top of even that, how can you be sure parents will be qualified/able to teach their kids such a wide variety of skills? You can fire teachers for incompetence and publicly investigate school districts for failing to faithfully implement good practice. And it should also be mentioned that shifting these expectations (especially via legislation) onto parents will disproportionately burden the poor who will be less likely to have the time, skills, or knowledge to teach said things.

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[–] upto60percentoff@kbin.run 4 points 3 months ago

Some people receive a better education being homeschooled than what their local school system could provide. Does that mean we should abandon the school system entirely?

The worst case school is still better at teaching you then the worst case parents. Parents who aren't in a position to teach you anything are also a lot more common than the worst case school.

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[–] upto60percentoff@kbin.run 33 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Where do you draw the line? Some people's parents teach them reading, writing and mathematics before they even enter the school system. Does that mean the school system shouldn't teach those three?

What if your parents don't know how to fix a clogged sink? Or to cook food more complicated than pasta with ketchup?

What do you see as the purpose of the schooling system?

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[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 31 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Many people's parents are not present in their lives at all or don't have these skills themselves to be able to pass on. What you're proposing will just result in more people growing up without these skills. School should teach a person everything they need to know for adulthood to ensure that everyone has the chance to learn it. If your parents reinforce those lessons even better.

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[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 26 points 3 months ago (9 children)

Dude thinks everyone has parents like him, elaborates that no learning of vital information in school is necessary if he himself got the knowledge from his parents.

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[–] Wilzax@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago

There are no prerequisites for being a parent. There are MANY prerequisites for being a teacher. We should be fortifying the curriculum of our schools to give ALL students a good education, not allowing the birth lottery have as drastic of an effect on children as it currently does. Parents can be very helpful or nearly useless and schools should do their to help students recover from the failures of bad/unprepared parents

At the same time, parents should teach/reinforce all the lessons they think are critical, and not depend on an imperfect school system to do right by their child. If it's something your kid should know and be familiar with, teach it to them. If they already know about it from school, find out what they were taught and be careful to consider what's wrong and what's simply different from when you were taught it.

Kids should have no expectation on who should teach them what. They don't really have a say in the matter, they're children. Everyone responsible for those children needs to do everything they can to make sure the children get a fair shot once they start having a little more control over their own lives.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 22 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I'm glad my parents didn't teach me how to cook because if they had, my cooking would fucking suck.

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[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

i for one don't think we should rely on parents to make sure children live good lives, as controversial an opinion as that may be..

the idea of expecting at most 2 people to be wholly responsible for a child's upbringing is absolutely crazy, i don't understand how it has become standard practice. For most of humanity's history children were a communal responsibility, we need to bring back neighbourhood grandmas.

[–] IAmNotACat@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago

‘It takes a village to raise a child’. Still true now as it ever was…we just seem to have lost our villages.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Not everybody has good parents. Or even parents that know this stuff themselves. Some people don't have two parents, or their parents work all the time. You might want to broaden your worldview. The schools are there to teach kids what they need to live as an adult, which should include basic life skills. They already offer home economics, where she teaches you how to do things and basic enough level that you can make spaghetti and sew a button back on. There's no reason why they shouldn't have something about balancing your checkbook, keeping a budget, not going into credit card debt, etc. It's just that the idiots in power haven't figured that all out yet.

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[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The people who say "why doesn't school teach this" are the people who wouldn't learn it in school if they did. Also, some schools do teach it.

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[–] IAmNotACat@lemmy.world 14 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Some of your examples are just senseless. People don’t have DIY skills because of the increasing specialisation of our society. We’re not at home learning how to fix things, because we’re in school learning how to do other things instead.

This has been the case for so long in some places that a lot of peoples parents don’t have those skills to pass on in the first place.

[–] Raffster@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Isn't that quite a bit degenerative? I think everyone should have at least some basic skills.

[–] IAmNotACat@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

It is degenerative, which is the point of the argument.

We fostered a society where both parents work, often far away from where they live. The time normally and naturally allotted to educating your own children has been steadily shrinking to make room for an education that normally lasts until adulthood. The expectation now being that your children will not pick up the family trade.

For some people, this trade off has been degenerative in some aspects, and that’s why they complain ‘school never taught me x’.

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[–] schloppah@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Nah because many many parents totally fucking suck and don't teach their kids shit.

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[–] vonbaronhans@midwest.social 12 points 3 months ago

Just gonna add this to the pile.

Most kids spend more time at school than at home, and during their prime functioning hours, and their teachers prime functioning hours. Kids come home to parents that are often burned out by their job. We still do our best for our kids, but the vast majority of us aren't professionally trained teachers, either.

I'm not saying schools should be in charge of everything a kid learns, but if there's a baseline expectation of knowledge that we expect from every adult in our society, then yeah, we probably do want our children to learn those things in school so we can at least try to ensure every kid gets a chance to learn them.

[–] halloween_spookster@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I sort of agree in that parents should teach in addition to schools. However, this feels like entitlement showing because it makes a bunch of assumptions about parents (that others have already commented on), but just even having parents. There are a lot of people who only have one parent, or no parents for various reasons. What about kids who lost one of their parents to cancer and their remaining parent doesn't have the capacity to teach the subjects you mentioned? Schools provide an opportunity for common education for everyone.

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[–] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 9 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Okay, but my parents were shit, so I learned nothing from anybody.

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[–] benfranklin@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I'm from Eastern Europe so my take might be country specific and factually wrong from US perspective.

I also like to think about this from the teachers perspective. The common sentiment of why do we learn X when it won't be necessary for day-to-day life later is such a misplaced sense of disappointment on the kids and the parents part.

As an educator it's true that one's teaching with their whole being - be that e.g.: attitude and other non strictly subject related attributes. But in the current system - where the output requirement for high school does not include knowledge about the taxes, loans and other common sense skills - it's pointless to expect anything else from the teacher than what's in the curriculum.

Currently the point of high school is to get you prepared for your final exams (SAT in the US) in order to pursue higher education. That's it. If the teacher is better than average then you might get something else in the process. Something more than just knowledge about a subject.

I agree that getting skills to adapt to challenges should be emphasized more than lexical knowledge. This is not embraced by the current curriculum in Hungary but this is my point exactly. It's a systemic issue that cannot be fixed by expecting more from teachers.

EDIT: english can be hard.

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[–] 31337@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 months ago

I agree, under ideal conditions, parents should have the time and ability to teach their kids many things. At the same time, I believe in the "... sins of the father ...", and "... it takes a village ..." aphorisms.

[–] DrCake@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I think some stuff is on the person themselves as well to be honest. The one I hear a lot is about “School should have taught us about taxes”. Except that school probably did teach you, it taught reading, maths, and general research (Google) skills.

The tax code changes all the time so it would be pointless to teach you about it 5-10 years before you’ll actually be doing it.

Plus the people I’ve heard this from in my own life, have been people that I know would not have paid attention to it in school anyway

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[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

My kids definitely spend more waking hours at school. If they're doing extracurricular activities it isn't unusual for them to be gone from 7a to 9p. The earliest they get home is 6p. Oh and then they still have homework.

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[–] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Also, many of the things these people claim school didn't teach them were actually taught in school. Maybe not directly, but in most cases schools do teach all the basic things one needs to do, for example, a tax return. They simply didn't pay attention.

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[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

At school, i had a class that was supposed to teach us about paying taxes, how stuff are made, how stuff work etc.ee

The teacher played poker on his laptop instead of teaching

Edit: for my opinion on the post: some parents cant My father has been working in a different country for longer than i was born, my mother is extremely busy and, including homework and travel, I do school stuff longer than doing other stuff(excluding sleep)

[–] undergroundoverground@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (8 children)

Here's one, from what does money derive its value?

I mean, its the most important thing in our society. You'd think that they would make sure it was really hammered home.

Now, you'll be told that it has value simply because we believe it does which isn't untrue. Theyll say, you know, it's like gold that doesn't actually hold any value. We just believe it really hard.

The problem is, we value that gold is shiny, imperishable and we can make pretty things out of it. We didn't have a big meeting and just randomly decide that gold would be valuable.

Another problem is that money is an iou. Except its, apparently, an iou that isn't own to anyone and doesn't have to be repaid, making it fall short of the criteria for it being an iou.

Tbf our economists dont really need to think about that, as, due to how money is created and destroyed, the position nets off due to the debt being repaid, despite the above. Theres no need to consider the non hypothetical part.

What if the underlying asset was human labour? You know, like how cotton, sugar and steel used to be used as currency in Virginia, the west indies and Sheffield respectfully. Its just that we live in human labour farm and you're living capital. To me, considering modern monetary policy, its the only thing that makes sense.

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[–] count_dongulus@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There are some topics that are just boring and not relevant to kids, even if those topics are important for them later as adults.

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