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Iβd go rob the people that made my entire 20βs and 30βs into indentured student loan servitude for exactly the dollar figure they stole from me plus the insane interest that they tacked onto it because they owned politicians who eliminated all avenues that I couldβve used to get out of that contract.
The figure they stole from me: $197,355.49
Quick question: How does it reach this figure?
It was the CitiAssist.
It had to be a private student loan because my parents made slightly over the max to qualify to public loans even though they refused to pay for school. That left me with loans with insane interest rates. Most of what I had to borrow was to cover $150k to pay rent in the college town I lived in while attending school.
Then, Joe Biden wrote the bankruptcy protection bill, making it impossible for students to disburse their student loans in bankruptcy two years after I graduated. They also refused to allow me to consolidate 8 loans which all had monthly payments that were each intentionally calculated as if it was the only loan I had to pay. Then my loans got bought and moved around and are now owned by Trellis. Thereβs a lot more to it as well. Housing and healthcare plays a HUGE part.
TLDR; hyper-commodification of basic human needs like education, housing, healthcare, and food coupled with legislation that sentences those that canβt pay their feudal lord up front to a lifetime of serfdom. (Not to mention my union wages barely keeping pace with inflation).
I know of an exploit on a horribly designed website for a national car park company that would allow me to write a script that would effectively give me and anyone else i know free parking for ever for all car parks administered by this company in the country (which is a lot of car parks).
So i'd do that
I love that you have a very specific and arguably moral crime in mind, and it inspired this post.
tbh, i was inspired by a post with the same title while lurking on reddit. i have a rule about not posting there though so i bought the conversation here
I'd go to the art museum and consume copious amounts of hallucinogens.
I did that at the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam
Great museum, I saw the "Potato Eaters" there.
The law does not currently prevent me from doing anything I want to do.
~~Illegal~~ Legal immigration.
I didn't even think of that. i could apply for US and EU passports
Why'd you go for a US passport considering their globally reaching tax laws?
So i pay an accountant to file a tax return once a year. Seems okay. It's a powerful passport
I would move to Scandinavia, maybe Denmark or Netherlands.
Crime means breaking the law, correct?
No location is named, so I will assume this refers the laws of physics and reality.
I would:
It's fun to dream of the impossible.
I keep my head down. No legal consequences isnβt the same thing as no consequences.
if I still had my last dog then walk her without a leash.
I'm a renter, so I'd throw a brick through each window of my property manager's tesla.
Jaywalk then torrent a movie.
It's crazy that you guys in the US can get a ticket for crossing the road
Freedommm!!
Assuming we got some time beforehand to prep, blow up a pipeline or 7
Rob Fort Knox.
Rip the toupee off trumps head and get a good picture.
you still gotta deal with security though remember
Man, I gotta brew something up in case a Crime Day comes up.
I'd like to do some proper money laundering but I'd need dirty money first. Idk, if skill wasn't an issue, I'd hack the bank and erase my debt? No, make the bank owe ME.
> Tries to rob a bank
> gets shot
Rob a bank.
it might be legal but you still have to deal with security
Iβd torture the shit it out of the parasite sack of shit that is my landlord
Nuke the world.
That's not murder; it's a war crime.
Arson.
Go shoplift anything I want. Snack/trinket party!
Banksssss! Rob banks! Then use that money to buy snacks forever!
That'd require planning tho.
I would rob some things I want. Not the money, only the the stuff hahahahaha
Nice try mr. Copper! π
It the best day of the year to get rich from the imaginary economy of assets. Set a bot to match the trades of some people who will be insider trading and cash in every year.
I donβt think that is illegal now. As you are technically not an insider
Speeding. Oh wait... nevermind.
I'd go to Iowa and lie about butter.