I feel like we all knew this was not the onion. The onion would be a Russian oligarch dying in any different manner.
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2024
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Russian oligarch survives assassination attempt by leaping out window
I always see people commenting on stories like this with things like "how does anyone actually believe that/think anyone will believe that?"
Well, that's exactly the point. It's not about the death being convincingly accidental. It's very much about sending a message to others.
You don't eliminate the competition and agitators with the exact same method of execution for 30+ years (with a few false-flag apartment bombings thrown in for good measure) and expect to keep things covert.
The only way they could make it more obvious is the "he hogtied himself, ate a cyanide capsule, jumped out the window and shot himself twice in the back of the head on the way down" trope.
If it was a good deterrent, why does it keep happening?
I'm serious. I don't get it.
Putin has been in power for 25 years. He arguably has more enemies than anyone else on the planet. I’d say the deterrent factor is pretty strong with this one.
It’s not perfect though. When you’re destroying your own country with the most disastrous war in living memory then you need stronger deterrents.
In some cases, the people in power change their minds and suddenly an oligarch who was compliant becomes a target.
Exactly. They don’t have a signature poison because they don’t want people to know what happened
I hope all American Oligarchs watch every window victim with wide eyes. This is the future you are funding with Trump.
No no no. It will never happen to me. I am one of the smart oligarchs/good immigrants. He will just murder/deport the others.
I really will have to insist on an "/s", sir.
Sad but true these days
Nonsense, our oligarchs are One of the Good Ones™
It's barely even funny at this point.
Although I'd quibble about Newsweek defining this guy as an oligarch. He was vice president at a company that was disbanded due the company president's opposition to Putin. It's very possible this guy is just a former executive that refused to bend or hand over some dirt or something. It doesn't appear he fits the definition of oligarch at all.
Unless we're just using the word to refer to all Russians above peasant.
Russian man promoted to oligarch after falling from window to his death
This has to be an onion headline at this point, no?
An office with a view to die for
It's the wholesale murder of political enemies to consolidate power by an autocrat.
I don't think it was ever "funny".
This is why you shouldn't use windows. Switch to Linux.
Man beaten to death by penguins will be the next title.
Pacemaker driver had a critical bug.
Phillip J. Fry is getting very very tired of questioning his state of shock...
Future generations of Russians will gain immunity to fall damage once they weed out the ones still complying with the law of gravity.
They really need more durable windows over there.
No! More soft ground.
Or softer oligarchs, they don't seem bouncy enough.
Isn't the acceleration worse if you bounce?
Not in Russia.
Hm... Putting them in those bouble balls would be good
I hope elon has a lovely view.
Still useful to the Putain at the moment, but yeah, I hope so too.
Fell right into 20 bullets... Wow what a unfortunate accident.
Old tricks are the best tricks.