this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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Lord of the memes

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The Lord of the rings memes communitiy on Lemmy. Share memes about Lord of the rings and be respectful.

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[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 80 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Galadriel and Celeborn were married in the First Age and the story takes place at the end of the Third, so they were married for at least six and a half thousand years. During that time, they had one child. How often do you think they had sex?

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Once.

But elf sex is crazy weird. Like, they were still doing it while Frodo and the Fellowship were there.

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

Dude it's elves who knows. She also slowes the passage of time by like MONTHS for a day, on top of being immortal it's pretty obnoxious. Maybe they only plow once a 1000 years, or maybe it's every day and they are only fertile once in thousands of years.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago

Successfully millions of times, unsuccessfully once.

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

All Celeborn has is Teleporno.

[–] rustydomino@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago

I does my heart good to see more Silmarillion memes leak into lotrmemes.

[–] BumpingFuglies@lemmy.zip 30 points 1 day ago (2 children)

To be fair, his name is Celeborn. Can't blame him for being celibate.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 43 points 1 day ago (2 children)

No, I blame Tolkien and his literally making elves only bang for the purpose of procreation because he's a repressed Catholic weirdo sometimes.

Jokes on him, modern society has agreed elves are hos.

[–] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 27 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It would be prudent for a sentient species with such long lifespans to practice planned procreation rather than multiplying exponentially like a culture on a petri dish.

[–] herrvogel@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

There's the Elven Rope that's light as a feather and strong as steel. No reason there could not have been the Elven Condom that's thin and impermeable.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I'm sure they had them, but they're incompatible. Can't make Elven Ropes while wearing an Elven Condom.

[–] dragonfucker 4 points 1 day ago

He could have just given them all narrow urethras like Hank Hill

Fair enough, but I think we can agree that Tolkien elves were bad at planning

[–] Pips@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Some would say 40k maybe went a little too far in the opposite direction with dark elves.

[–] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 5 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Thats weirdly more of a Warhammer fantasy hold over what with dommy mommy Morathi, mind you unlike the Aeldar they didnt murderfuck orgy Slaanesh into existance.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 17 hours ago

So they say...

[–] tenacious_mucus@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

AkShUaLlY…. It’s pronounced “Kel-a-born”….but I still applaud your humor!

Most, if not all c’s are pronounced as hard K’s in Elvish (Elven?) languages.

It does get a little weird with places like Cirith Ungol, but there are, allegedly, older maps where it’s spelled Kirith.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago (1 children)

They did Celeborn so dirty in the movies.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 36 points 1 day ago (1 children)

At least he's in the movies, AMAZON.

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (3 children)

2nd to last episode of this season pissed me off....

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 5 points 1 day ago

You made it all the way to the 2nd to last episode of season 2?

[–] chuckleslord@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

... why would you keep watching after season 1 when it was super clear they had no idea what to do with this project?

[–] Brunbrun6766@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Curiosity, but at this point this show is entirely a bad fanfiction and has zero respect for the source material

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Gandalfy literally went away to chill peacefully for eons with his spicy ring.

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

And Gandalf wasn't alone. He was banging little Hobbit chicks for ages

[–] toast@retrolemmy.com 8 points 1 day ago

Filthy hobbitses

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

And we all know where he wore the ring.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Oh god, now I have the image of Gandalf's scrawny ass with a pencil dick

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

*with a pencil dick on fire

Just sitting there, winking at you, asking if you want to smoke

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

According to Amazon Prime she wants Elrond bad but he dun wan it!

[–] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 21 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He does now. Which is weird since A) she's already got guy, and B) cause Elrond ends up with her daughter

[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 7 points 1 day ago

Friendzone level.....

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

He's got a whole crew, Kale! I'm obviously speaking metaphorically!