Asklemmy

You can start by using chat gpt's voice chat. it’s a small step, but it can help you practice carrying conversations. speaking in public is very different from talking alone, but this could give you some direction.

if your speech feels like xqc's, one reason might be overthinking how others see your face or gestures. building self-confidence can help—working out, for example, can make you feel better about how you look, which often translates to confidence in speaking.

another issue could be speaking too fast. try slowing down. you might worry about awkward pauses, but people enjoy listening. if you speak with authority and maintain your pace, others will adjust and give you time to express yourself.

lastly, if eye contact makes you nervous, don’t overthink it. a quick glance now and then is fine. it keeps you calm and focused without overwhelming you. over time, this can make speaking much less stressful.

I've struggled with putting my thoughts into words almost my whole life. Only in the last 2-3 years I started to actually get better (I'm 28 soon).

What could help is

• If you managed to find words for a thought write them down somewhere (I used phone notes for this)
• Not sure about this one, but maybe reading books out loud might help (doesn't have to be with anyone present)

I did both of these occasionally, but I think what actually helped me here was LSD, which I don't recommend unless you've properly researched the (side-) effects, are aware of all the risks and have trusted source to get it from.

Like anything, it's practising doing it. Incidentally, this is one place using a chat bot might help you. These things are pretty good at carrying a conversation, and if you're not comfortable talking to a person, it could be a good way to practice.

As others have suggested, professional help would probably be the best way to go about it.

Otherwise, here are my suggestions as a non-professional:

• Record yourself and listen to yourself speak, maybe even naturally (maybe on the phone?). Listen for the mistakes you're making so that you can focus on correcting them.
• Slow down between words and sentences.
• Plan out your sentences before you start them.
• Be okay with using filled pauses. You don't need ums and uhs, but things like "Well...". Even something like "Let me think about that for a moment" is okay in certain settings.
• Look up advice for professional speaking. Advice for live streamers can be great to apply to your situation.

Learn new languages. Learn to code.

May not solve your problem, but will help.

Also, read books.

One really neat trick is to slow down and even pause words. This really helps me get my point across.

You're dealing with both impediments and social issues here. This would be difficult for anyone. I highly suggest professional help, but if it's not available or you are unwilling, the next best thing would be to understand you're going to need to fail a lot with intentions of getting better, and it may never happen. I'm rooting for you.

Edit: To clarify, speech therapy and general therapy are what you will benefit from.

I don’t know if anyone else has this problem but I have a really pacific issue.

The word you want here is "specific". 👍

I talk like xQc

Just looked up this guy and this seems obvious, Twitch.tv is the inverse of literacy and coherence. Stop fucking gaming and watching streams.

If you legitimately speak like xQc, the first thing I'd tell you is to slow the hell down. That guy would probably get as much information out in the same amount of time, but easier to understand, if he just didn't try speaking that fast. Last I heard it, even his québécois french was slurred.

As to finding the right words when speaking, it tends to come with knowing your subject well enough, and having decent vocabulary.

Past that, if you do struggle with the very act of translating ideas into the physical act of speaking, it could be a speech disorder which could likely benefit from speech therapy.

Practice by reading out loud slowly and enunciating like you want a child to understand you. Do the same with others' speeches, as they were written to be said out loud. If they are recorded in an accent that is in the neighborhood of your goal, even better - you can practice talking exactly like a recording.

Even though this isn't off-the-cuff speaking, you will likely adopt verbal patterns that let your words flow more freely.

You can also join clubs that are dedicated to speaking to other people. If all else fails, something like toastmasters, though that's specifically about public speaking.

If this doesn't go well, that's also okay. You might want to look into a speech therapist if practice doesn't help.

Speech pathology for the stutter and the slip. You can find some free help online but be careful, trying to fix speech issues on your own can make things worse in some cases. If you can, seek professional input.

I've done toastmasters a long time a go, and it really benefits me till today.

I as a teen worked in a retail computer store Having to constantly interact with people really give you a sense of being able to communicate better. That or any job where you have to teach someone something.

Freeze

Another response to danger is your body hitting the pause button altogether. The freeze response involves becoming immobilized or “freezing” in response to a threat. This can involve a state of paralysis or being unable to move. It’s thought that this response might have evolved as a way to avoid being noticed by a predator or to remain still in the hopes that the threat will pass by.

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-happens-to-your-body-during-the-fight-or-flight-response

I would suggest emailing improv groups around you to see if you could join a class that's supportive. Make sure to ask the teacher ahead of time so you can get a feel for if they'd be good for you or not and if they're willing to work with you. If you could take a friend that's interested as well, that would help for you to work with someone you trust.

I talk like xQc irl

🤣 Sorry not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. I kinda felt that.

Remember that in real life, conversations isn't like in movies. Dialogue isn't so perfect with flowery proses. Real conversations often have incomplete sentences, a lot of "um..." filler words. And there often like frequent pauses when my brain just has to process thoughts before I can say it. Life is like that, is normal.

What made me less anxious and just go "IDGAF" is just I realized that I am a mortal being and I will eventually die, I kinda had an existential crisis for a while, then I was just like: if everyone just dies, all embarassing moments just gets forgotten

Like you can piss yourself or shit your pants, look foolish in a live audience of millions of people, say stupid things... whatever. Doesn't matter, everything is temporary. Being a bit nihilistic just allow you to be yourself. Nothing matter anyways, do what you feel like (except harming others, don't harm other living being please).

I mean not to get political, but just look at politicians say stupid things all the time.

The president of the US fell down a bunch of staird, people laughed, the internet memed it a bit, everyone kinda just went on.

And most of us doesn't have the whole world watching is. If I fell down a bunch of stairs, most people that saw it would just forget very soon. Samething with speech, as long as you don't say anything thats bigoted, nobody care about speech mistakes.

TLDR: Life is short, do whatever you want as long as it doesn't harm other living beings. Make mistakes all you want, doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Not sure if related, but this might help

Given the context of your post, I would suggest starting with the basics. Taking the time to learn how to write properly may give you some ability to speak properly.

I have a really pacific issue

I don't know if this is typo or if you think your issue is as big as the ocean.