this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
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Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 17 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

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[–] Facebones@reddthat.com 46 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 7 points 10 hours ago

Oh yooooou! I love this comment!

[–] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago

Somebody was on reddit today

[–] Today@lemmy.world 71 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

The cousins from Miami got me

[–] bitchkat@lemmy.world 13 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.

[–] spamellama@midwest.social 3 points 9 hours ago

Because of course he would

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago

I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.

Was not disappointed!

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 35 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

So glad his schedule freed up

[–] radix@lemmy.world 14 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?

[–] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 12 points 16 hours ago

He’d probably prefer middle school

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

Punks probably drooling in anticipation

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 9 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars

[–] davidgro@lemmy.world 6 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.

[–] jwt@programming.dev 7 points 12 hours ago

This one can take over breitbart or oan.