this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2024
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[–] greedytacothief@lemmy.world 36 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Red flag. Bad opsec. I wouldn't trust someone who trusts me.

[–] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago

My spouse and I have been married 15 years and I still don't share my GPG passphrase. Whoever says "you can't have secrets" is weird and controlling.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

She probably just has a blackmail fetish.

[–] lath@lemmy.world 185 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Sounds like a red flag with a white circle and a black symbol within. But also romantic. They're not mutually exclusive.

As some say, romance is death...

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 60 points 5 days ago (1 children)

She's probably great in bed. The crazy ones always are.

[–] teft@lemmy.world 51 points 5 days ago (6 children)

To all you younglings out there reading this, crazy chicks are fun but they will ruin your life.

Never stick your dick in crazy.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Truth. There's often no safe exit strategy either. Once the deed is done, you are in grave danger.

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[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (2 children)

You mean the ancient far eastern peace symbol? So romantic.

[–] MelastSB@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 days ago

The Windmill of Friendship also boosts love!

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[–] Atlas_@lemmy.world 64 points 5 days ago (2 children)

First, 100% a red flag. Even if they wanted to give some sort of "I trust you with my life" sort of video, there's a bunch of better ways to do it. Going for a racist rant makes me think that they're a racist.

Secondly, this is deeply submissive - they're giving you the power to ruin their life. If you want to do that sort of stuff as a couple you should really talk about it first and be on board with receiving that sort of power and responsibility. Entirely possible+reasonable for the receiver to find this shitty because they don't want to make a choice like this, especially if these are truly held beliefs.

The healthy response to this is to send them to a therapist. And definitely dump them if they're actually racist.

[–] Clent@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (7 children)

I don't see how someone could do a racist rant and not be racist. That it is a rant is an important word here.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Have you never heard of acting?

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[–] NutWrench@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I think a bot is Karma farming by asking stupid questions. "Should I hit myself in the nuts with a mallet? Is sulphuric acid safe to drink? Should < horrible red flag behavior in a partner > be a cause for concern?"

[–] Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 days ago

I think a bot is Karma-farming by criticising I think a bot is Karma farming by asking stupid questions. "Should I hit myself in the nuts with a mallet? Is sulphuric acid safe to drink?...

JK. You're probably right. But chin up, it will only get worse 😁

[–] deadbeef79000 125 points 5 days ago (5 children)

RED FLAG.

No sane person does things like that.

[–] 667@lemmy.radio 62 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Absolutely insane.

Just get a tattoo of their name like the rest of us.

[–] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 15 points 5 days ago

Preferably a face tattoo

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[–] dingdongitsabear@lemmy.ml 106 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Obligatory "this some young people shit".

Young people do and say stupid shit to come off as edgy and the vast majority of them don't actually mean it and regret it later in life.

As to your question, that's why you date people, to see if they're good, for you and otherwise. You don't go "red flag!" -> napalm!!!, you evaluate contexts and repeat occurrences of perceived wrongs.

[–] Blum0108@lemmy.world 27 points 5 days ago

That being said, it's a huge red flag and you don't need a repeat occurrence to end the relationship.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 13 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Sure, but this is also a weird miscommunication. Why do this crazy trust exercise when you can instead have honest conversations? This sounds like the relationship is going to be based on proving yourself to the other instead of genuinely getting to know them.

If I received this, I'd show them me deleting it from all my devices and ask them to never do anything like that again, because you never know what could be exposed in a breach. I'd also tell them if any of that was genuine, we would need to end the relationship.

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[–] hissingmeerkat@sh.itjust.works 90 points 5 days ago

A red flag.

Sharing dangerous ideas with somebody to show that you think they are safe is an honest signal of trust, but only if the dangerous ideas are genuine.

Someone who attempts to buy trust disingenuously is not to be trusted.

Someone who thinks in terms of kompromat and manipulation is dangerous to be around.

[–] Resonosity@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Absolutely red flag.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 16 points 4 days ago

Sounds like a scene from Get Out lol.

[–] superkret@feddit.org 70 points 5 days ago (4 children)

This is kinda unhinged in my opinion.
But then again, I grew up before social media, maybe this is the ultimate proof of love now? I don't know.

Anyway, putting herself completely at your mercy is not a good start into a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.

Either unhinged or brain rotted from a steady diet of Tiktok videos. Or both.

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[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 14 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Why is this posted in the funny community?

[–] treadful@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago

A tradition alive since time began on Reddit. Nothing funny can be posted on the funny community.

[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 6 points 4 days ago

The poster says it’s funny

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[–] NastyNative@mander.xyz 12 points 4 days ago

Have confidence in the credibility of what she is expressing in those videos.

The question that leaps to my mind is why would that idea have occurred to her in the first place?

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 32 points 5 days ago (1 children)

ITT: Everyone taking a shitpost from reddit posted to Funny@sh.itjust.works seriously

Also: both romantic and a red flag

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[–] boreengreen@lemm.ee 33 points 5 days ago

Sounds like she is making a "joke" in poor taste while also fishing for your take on the things she is joking about.

or perhaps it's something sexual. Power imbalance Idk.

[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 38 points 5 days ago

She is treating the relationship and trust as transactional. No bueno.

[–] reddwarf@feddit.nl 42 points 5 days ago

I have a fleeting suspicion that this girl now thinks, because of her own action, she can do this to you now as well. OP, be careful what you share with her because ruining someones life is an option in her book...

"Let me take a video of you saying you're going to kill the president."

https://youtu.be/Jt1GRckaQ_s

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

How interesting. I had a similar red flag with my asshole brother the day he said that he yelled the N-word in his car when he was alone because it was "transgressive" to do that. By the way, he said this to his family and hundreds of friends in public on Facebook.

Going to take my mom down to see him in Atlanta next week. It will be the first time I will see him in 10 years and probably the last until my mom's funeral, if he bothers to show up. Thank god I don't have to stay at his house.

[–] shoulderoforion@fedia.io 24 points 5 days ago (3 children)

They say never stick your dick in crazy, but from my experience, that's where the best stuff is, but you gotta know, there's a shelf life to flirting with insanity, you gotta know when to get out, or else you're just in for life changing pain. This sounds a bit outside comfort levels for me, and I'd be looking for the out door.

[–] Biskii@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 5 days ago

I'd be looking for the out door.

She literally gave it to him

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[–] fraksken@infosec.pub 15 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (5 children)

Relationships are no jokes. Neither is racism. Depending on how I feel about her, the video might leak. I would certainly not stay.

Big red flag to me.

Edit: I have broadened my mind. I had not considdered receiving such a video from somebody whom of I am certain has no racist mind at all.

In that case I would reciprocate by deleting the footage.

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[–] oleorun@real.lemmy.fan 21 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Bright, shining, blinking, scrolling, red LED-illuminated flags m'dude.

She needs some therapy on boundaries and impulse control by the sound of it. Then again I'm going off a 5 second read and not a lifetime of experience so I am conceding that I do not know anything for certain.

I would say 'hey, out of respect for you I am deleting this video, thanks for the gift, please get me a gift card to XYZ next time'. But yeah, first time? Give her the pass. If it happens again, GTFO.

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 2 points 3 days ago

AI is fishing for real human responses to further train on.

[–] fodderoh@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago

Maybe she's secretly hoping he'll use it to sexually blackmail her. That is a kink some people have.

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