lastfmuser
imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster

scribblestheunicorn
It’s him,,,

Ted Talker

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 80 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Oh, you guys are thinking small.

Peter Executive (a vassal of Andy CEO). Mary Anesthesiologist. Alice S. Theorist. William Credit Authorizer. James M. Researcher.

The worst part is that, fun as this is, I'm having flashbacks of every time I've said something along the lines of "Matt from HR" and realizing that's how that has always worked.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Renouned negotiator Matt Fromeichar

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 35 points 2 months ago (4 children)

"The prefix "from" is how you know a family comes from the old middle class. Rich families used "the", as in "Jane TheCeo or Peter TheChairman."

"Working class families just don't get a prefix. That's why there are so many James Burgerkings out there".

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago

I see Jack TheRipper in a whole new light now

[–] nshibj@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

That's excellent

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

That's how I always refer to my sysadmin colleagues when talking to others. Chris and Steve Classrooms, Bill Proxmox (née Vmware), and I'm Jack Networks-Linux. Not real names of course.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

David Searchengineoptimizer, Mary Marykaycosmeticssales, Oleg Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer.

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 5 points 2 months ago

Nobody thought Disinformationandpropagandabotprogrammer would be a good governor of California, but he ended up being more moderate than expected.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago (3 children)

No one at school was picked on more than Timmy OnlyFans.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Timmy Onlyfansson

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[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That's why he started going by Timothy Olyphant in stead.

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Oh, like Timothy Chaturbate/Chalamet?

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Or the endboss of funny names: Syphilis Snugglesnatch, oh I mean Bumbleshack Calldispatch, oh I mean Benadryl Lumberjack, ...

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[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We all remember Scam Bankrupt Fraud, right?

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

yea wasn't he the guy from FTX?

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, the guy who never got out of Bronze in LOL.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

To be fair, I never even got INTO bronze in LOL 🤷

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (3 children)

Peter Unemployed.

Shameless pluck for "Qualityland" by Mark-Uwe Kling.

[–] ElmarsonTheThird@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 months ago

Don't forget Martyn Congressman!

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[–] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Look at me, I'm Bobby SitAtMyConputerAllDayAndAgeRapidly

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We call him Little Bobby Tables.

[–] Adulated_Aspersion@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Always. XKCD. Always.

https://xkcd.com/327/

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 34 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Finally an accurate description for Jessica Fullstack Developer.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Just ask Tim Apple how that feels.

[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

one of the podcasts i listen to made a joke about Tim Onion buying Infowars and i am still cracking up over it.

also I'm super upset that someone already took the handle tim_apple on everything😤

[–] cypherpunks@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's getting harder to discern reality from satire, but Tim Onion has actually been The Onion's CEO's name^*^ ever since he bought that job. And he is trying to buy InfoWars. (And the company formerly known as Twitter has joined Jones' fight to prevent it.)

^*^(his bluesky display name, at least)

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[–] folekaule@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Hello, I am Bob Bugmaker, your software developer for this project.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Imagine being the actual John Gamer.

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[–] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Etymology nerd on YouTube has a video on this! It's basically how we put people in our phones now, such as Alex (neighbor) and Alex (work), two names I actually have saved in my phone. They're more based on relationship than occupation now.

Edit: (neighbor) not (phone)

[–] WarlordSdocy@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That makes sense considering in the past knowing who your town's baker or other role was mattered. Now a days you don't really know the names of the people you get food and things from so it's shifted now to more relationship based.

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[–] lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago

Dolores del BullshitJob. Or Lola Shitposta.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

“Sup, I’m Lance Crypto!”

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 11 points 2 months ago

Ohh no look out, it's Tim Moderator

[–] Zier@fedia.io 11 points 2 months ago

Dick Doctor Patrick Porn Star Caroline Creator Dan Designer Evan Entertainment Ian Importer Tim Apple

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

María Tiktoker

John Uberdriver

Sam Gamereviewer

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Shorten them and it works

Maria Toker

John Uber

Sam Vèiwer

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[–] Seasm0ke@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Hi my name is Colin Support

[–] tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Kailey Influencer

🤮

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 16 points 2 months ago

Influencer isn't a trade name and it will never be, Kailey Advertiser.

[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yosef Tuber

Isha Grammer

Fitzgerald Acebook

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[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'd be Jimbo Bomber.
A lot cooler sounding than my real name.
I'm an industrial radiographer and usually called bombers.

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[–] StarlightDust@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 months ago

In the case of coppers it would be pretty convenient since they all go by their surname so they would all be, "Officer Pig", "Sergeant Pig", "Inspector Pig", "Detective Pig"

[–] essell@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Please see the excellent book "Jennifer Government" for a prescient look at where things are heading.

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[–] cheers_queers@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago (3 children)

can someone help me make "janitor" sound like a fancy French name pls

[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 months ago

Custodienne

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

L’engienier du’sanitaccion

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[–] nicknonya@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago

Jaques Concierge?

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 4 points 2 months ago

Imagine Tony Head of Sales and Managment

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