Every passing day in this state I understand more and more how Hitler gripped the minds of the masses and came into power so easily. People are so fucking stupid.

Many tried to figure that out about the Nazis, and it became obvious why

10 percent of any population is cruel, no matter what, and 10 percent is merciful, no matter what, and the remaining 80 percent can be moved in either direction - Susan Sontag

You're up against the 90% . its not that they are stupid they are literally unable to care beyond the small circle of their family/friends that are like them.

Hopefully this will make you feel at least a little better...

My mom, who lives in a red county in a red state that is fairly impoverished has voted straight Republican her entire life. I begged and had multiple difficult conversations with her to vote for Kamala. Where I live my vote doesn't matter because I live in a solidly blue state, but where she lives her vote matters.

She emailed me the day after the election to say for the first time in her life she voted for a democratic president.

There are good people out there, you're not alone. Keep fighting the good fight.

It sounds like you're marrying into a family that you heavily despise, but that is the narrow opinion of a random internet stranger.

I empathize with your situation, but I would strongly recommend against seeking random advice from internet strangers, even if there appear to be no other alternatives. Random advice is often worse than no advice; Coincidentally, that is the path many took to become MAGA - do not make their same mistake.

I’m going to post a great answer to this that agent_nycto shared on another thread:

I don't think you should be quiet, it makes them feel like everyone is agreeing with them and makes everyone miserable. Time to introduce you to my favorite game to play with conservatives, Politics Judo!

So you hear them rant about a thing. Some dumbass talking point. Let's use gun control. It's pretty easy to know in advance what the talking points are since they never shut up and parrot the same problem and solution over and over. "Shouldn't take guns, it's a mental problem not a gun problem".

Things are basically boiled down to a problem and a solution. A lot of people try to convince people that the problem isn't what people think it is, and that's hard to do. Even if they are just misinformed, it feels like trying to dismiss their fears.

So what you do is you agree with the problem, then use lefty talking points as the solution.

"Oh yeah, gun violence is pretty bad! And I love the Constitution, we shouldn't mess with that!" (Use small words and also throw in some patriotism, makes them feel like you're on their side. You want to sound like a right wing media con artist) "so instead of taking guns away, we should instead start having more, free, mental health care in this country. Since it's a mental health problem and these people are crazy, that is the solution that makes the most sense!" (Don't try to get them to agree to your solution, just state it as the obvious one)

It becomes weaponized cognitive dissonance. Their brains fry because you said the things you should to agree with them, flagged yourself as an ally, but then said the thing they were told is the bad and shouldn't want.

If they try to argue with your solution, rinse and repeat to a different talking point. "Oh yeah it might cost more, and we shouldn't have to pay more for it, so we should get the rich people who are screwing average hard working Americans over by not paying taxes to do that. We should shut down tax loopholes and increase funding to the IRS so they can go after them instead of the little guy"

Always sound like you're agreeing with them, but giving solutions that they disagree with that seem to be off topic but are related.

Basically it makes no sense to try to teach trigonometry to a toddler sitting in mud. Just think happy thoughts and GTFO as soon as your social obligation is fulfilled. Also these people might or might not individually be rape apologists - not sure why that's the focus of the headline - but most MAGAs simply don't believe he raped anybody.

Then just leave, madam/sir (are you a madam/sir ?) You are free to leave & live alone

It's pretty comfy & good for sanity (compared to what you're facing now) This is an honest advice

Move. They won't change. My sanity improved greatly when I moved to a blue city in a blue state away from my Trumper family. We will never be compatible.

This holiday season I finally told my parents off for dismissing my sexual assault, just a few weeks before voting for drumpf for a third fucking time. They haven't spoken to me since I said it so... guess that's a win?

I don't speak up in those situations unless there's a decent number of people on my side. It wouldn't change anything if I did. I have a discord where my friends and I vent about the state of the world. That helps a little to at least keep my feet on the ground.

You don't have to spend time with them. Your fiancé can go visit his shit family if he wants, but you have no obligation to ever share your time and space on them. I certainly wouldn't.

I'm sorry for your situation. It's definitely a tough place to be. My wife and I recently moved back to Canada--we were planning the move before the election, but the election results only confirmed our decision.

In terms of coping, one thing I've done is to try to remind myself that his followers are also victims, in a sense. Not that they don't bear responsibility (every person who has supported him is responsible for the growing dumpster fire that is the US), but it's like you said--Trump doesn't care about them or their interests. And despite it being tempting to think every MAGA is just stupid (which is at least partly true), there's some rationality to how they arrived there. It's mostly due to fear-based reasoning mixed with misguided patriotism and their upbringing (and probably other factors). It doesn't excuse what they're doing, but if I'm honest, I might be in the same place as them if I had experienced life in their shoes. Still wrong, but it helps me at least humanize them in my own head and it lets my anger (at them) dwindle to pity instead. I also try to remember the ways I've been ignorant in my own past. Again, not to excuse anyone, just to deal with my own emotions.

In terms of speaking up, I haven't had much luck. Most of his people are all in, and there is literally nothing that will change their mind. More often, I find that disengaging is more effective--mainly for my own sanity. If someone wants to engage, I try to remember to first ask them, "what would it take to change your mind about Trump?" When I've asked this, 95% of the time, the person responds with "nothing." Then I confirm that there's no point in having a conversation about it, because at this point, there's nothing that will change my mind about him either (due to the overwhelming evidence of his character and misdeeds). At the end of the day, our principles simply don't line up, so a conversation would be fruitless.

Not sure what your life situation is, but if you have the means to move somewhere else, that's probably the best you could do. It also sends the strongest possible message to your community, and leaves the MAGA crowd to their infighting (rember, their ideology is based on blaming people--if all the "libs" leave town, they're forced to find a new out-group and they slowly eat their own). It sucks, but there's nothing much you can do as the minority to turn your community around (aside from offering support to any like-minded people).

Here's hoping you can get out of it.

I'm in Texas, but don't really encounter Trumsters much. I have a couple of Republican coworkers, but even they're over him now, or they just don't talk about it in public.