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I've also been given the "I've always suspected" thing (not diagnosed) from certain people, family to be specific. And while, fair enough, so have I; when I start thinking about certain treatment and button pushing that I've gone through, and the fact that no one ever bothered to get me professionally assessed growing up so that maybe I could've had a better quality life; it makes my mind start going to dark places. And I don't like it because maybe it's all in my head.

Edit: although to be fair, I do believe that I have become quite unintentionally good at putting a mask on throughout the years. And maybe it's only really starting to show now that I'm older and still the way I am.

Ahh, I would have been much more accepting of myself if I realized I was just autistic instead of secretly, mysteriously “bad.” People reacted poorly to me just being me, so I thought they recognized that I was a bad person, even though I didn’t know what made me bad. I also had emotional reactions that didn’t make sense and I thought I was just a huge asshole for getting upset (and trying not to show any sign of it) at things that wouldn’t upset others. I don’t think it’s the same situation as eggs at all, given that, ideally, autistic people would be diagnosed as children and raised with knowledge of how to manage living in a world that’s not made for them.

Especially for AFAB autistic people, we’re often socialized to try to mask, regardless of our own internal state. I don’t think you should diagnose her or bring it up casually in a group, but I would have really appreciated someone telling me they thought it was a possibility.